Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, March 22. All times are Eastern.
Heartbeat (ABC, 9 p.m.): In case you felt there weren’t enough maverick doctors on our TV screens, here comes Dr. Alexandra Panttiere, a heart-transplant surgeon who is, as the description promises, “as unorthodox in the OR as she is with the two men in her life.” Technically speaking, we think that last bit may be a bit of a logical double negative, as being unorthodox while (presumably) dating two men would probably involve just being really up-front and straightforward the whole time. Kind of swerving a swerve there. Anyway, we’re curious whether there are really enough heart transplants happening on a regular enough basis to build a show around, but we guess 2,000 per year is plausible enough for one doctor to do 20 or so per season, especially when we imagine there will be plenty of non-transplanting time to devote to affairs of the … oh goodness, we just realized all the terrible “heart” puns and double meanings this show is going to make. (“Dr. Panttiere, the only heart you can’t replace … is your own.”) For slightly more organized thoughts on this show, do check out Gwen Ihnat’s pre-air review, as the show premieres tonight before moving to Wednesdays starting tomorrow.
The Flash (The CW, 8 p.m.): Both of Tuesday’s CW shows are back from hiatus, with tonight’s Flash seeing the introduction of yet another speedster who may or may not be evil but is definitely a woman, so at least that’s something new. Also, “Iris is challenged by an assignment from her new boss and is surprised when friction turns to flirtation,” just in case you or Scott Von Doviak forgot this was a CW shot.
iZombie (The CW, 9 p.m.): “A research scientist who was recently demoted at her job is murdered,” so somebody’s week has gone from bad to worse. Things at least are (hopefully) looking up for Carrie Raisler and the iZombie fans out there, as they get to go back to watching their beloved show and shaking their heads at our brazen ignorance of what is, by all accounts, a pretty good show. We’re just jerks that way!
New Girl (Fox, 8 p.m.): Erik Adams is glad to see New Girl keeping the light on for Fox’s Tuesday night sitcoms, as the rest of the block is in reruns. Tonight’s episode sees the return of Schmidt’s dad, which means Sunday’s Shameless review was a couple days early in declaring a state of “Peak Gallagher.” That’s right, behold the world’s must illustrious eyebrows…
Oh, those things are glorious. What a way to welcome Jess back to society after that jury duty stint. Speaking of which…
American Crime Story: The People Vs. O.J. Simpson (FX, 10 p.m.): “The jurors grow stir crazy after spending months away from their families and being cut off from society and the media.” Well, that sounds perfect. We’re not sure how Pilot Viruet feels about this, but we’re kind of hoping this episode starts out more or less sane, then devolves into a Ryan Murphy-infused, weirdly Kardashian-obsessed shot-for-shot remake of 12 Angry Men, just because.
What else is on?
NCIS (CBS, 8 p.m.): In case we ever forget what a great advertisement NCIS is for the Navy: “A Navy Public Affairs officer is murdered, and the victim’s wife and mistress accuse each other of the crime.” The Navy: Sure, you’ll get murdered, but at least it’ll probably be by one of the multiple people you’re having sex with!
NCIS: New Orleans (CBS, 9 p.m.): “The team discovers a surveillance van filled with photos of Agent Pride after Laurel’s attacked on campus and put in protective custody.” Photos … photos of Agent Pride doing what? You know, never mind, don’t tell us, we’d rather not know.
Limitless (CBS, 10 p.m.): We’re not totally sure, but it might be time to fire up the Smirk Alarm, as it sure sounds like a Bradley Cooper sighting is on the way: “Brian’s double life unravels when Senator Morra makes contact just as Brian’s placed under 24-hour surveillance by the FBI following his rogue trip to Russia.”
The Real O’Neals (ABC, 8:30 p.m.): “Eileen applies for a job, and Shannon overhears and misunderstands her mom’s plans. Meanwhile, Pat is hesitant to live life as a single man, but his patrol partner thinks he’s ready; and Jimmy wants Kenny to try online dating.” Man, we wish we had a patrol partner to guide us through our major life decisions. We guess we’ll just have to rely on the other members of the What’s On Tonight gestalt entity to guide us through. (Except for Les. His antipathy toward out-of-context wrestling clips makes us doubt him. Which leads us to…)
Impact Wrestling (Pop, 9 p.m.): There’s no synopsis posted for this specific episode, and we’re not totally sure which set of spoilers describes this episode, so we’ll just play it safe and say this is the one where one guy who was run out of WWE defends his title against another guy who was run out of WWE, all while some TNA mainstays prepare to jump ship, possibly for WWE. Yep, that should cover it.
Awkward (MTV, 10 p.m.): This episode involves Jenna explaining various things that happened in the time jump, which we assume means flashbacks are on the way. You know, given how exhilarating time jumps tend to be, and how effective flashback-laden catch-up episodes can be when they can skip all the boring filler stuff, there’s an argument to be made that a struggling show like this should literally alternate time jumps and flashbacks with every episode. There, that’s a free thinkpiece. Enjoy!
Faking It (MTV, 10:30 p.m.): “Amy and Karma want to make up, but neither wants to make the first move.” Why, it’s 2016’s answer to Romeo And Juliet!
Not Safe With Nikki Glaser (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): “Nikki meets engaged couples to discuss how their weddings are an inconvenience for their friends.” Ugh, weddings, man. Nothing against them, but we’re not a fan of inconveniencing people in the name of spectacle or whatever. (Okay, fine, that’s absolutely having something against them.) Point is, we still think the platonic ideal of a wedding is April and Andy’s.
Godzilla (Encore, 8 p.m.): Let’s play everyone’s favorite (or least favorite, depending on the outcome) game: “Which Godzilla is this?” Well then: “A scientist teams with a mysterious French agent to try to stop a massive, radioactive lizard from destroying Manhattan.” Hmm, Manhattan? French agent? Yeah, we can all keep moving, this is the Matthew Broderick one.
King Kong (Showtime, 9 p.m.): And now for the obvious follow-up, “Which King Kong is this?” Well, this thing has been given more than three hours on a commercial-free network, so, yeah, this is absolutely the Peter Jackson/Jack Black/Adrien Brody/Naomi Watts version. Which was … okay, we guess? It wasn’t really“this is going to take 3 hours and 10 minutes to watch” okay, but that’s true of pretty much everything Jackson has made since finishing up his first foray into Middle Earth.
Kicking And Screaming (Flix, 11:15 p.m.): And now let’s complete the trifecta, “Which Kicking And Screaming is this?” Come on, Will Ferrell youth soccer movie, come on, Will Ferrell youth soccer movie… “Generation X graduates are in quarter-life crisis mode when they have to move on from college and enter the world of adulthood.” Ah well, maybe next time.
NHL Hockey: Los Angeles Kings at Minnesota Wild (NBC Sports, 8:30 p.m.): After suffering through a turmoil-laden season that saw them fail to even make the playoffs and have a chance to defend their Stanley Cup, the Kings are atop the Pacific Division and already assured of a chance to add to their trophy collection. As for the Wild … ooh boy, we just feel sorry for Minnesota, considering they’re one of the three cities, along with Quebec City and Hartford, that saw their teams win a title in short order after fleeing south. At least they got a team back … though given the Wild’s track record, we’re not sure that’s all that much of a consolation.
In case you missed it AKA “That’s gotta be Kane!”
Supergirl: We’re on the road to Wrestlemania, but since we still don’t really understand any of what’s happening on said road, we thought we’d take a moment and pay tribute to Kane. Yes, Kane. We realize there are plenty good reasons to be tired of the Demon, especially given what may well have been his umpteenth heel turn on last night’s Raw, but the guy is kind of the epitome of “perfectly serviceable and surprisingly funny” when used right, which admittedly isn’t near enough. Still, there’s a reason Daniel Bryan singled him out for a shout-out in his recent retirement speech.
And here’s one with a big movie star and a Floridian tort law enthusiast. (We would mention the whole “mega racist” thing, but we feel like that’s already heavily implied by the “Floridian tort law enthusiast” bit.)