Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, November 23. All times are Eastern.
Castle (ABC, 10 p.m.): Remember Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Yeah, that popcorn flick from a decade ago. No, the popcorn flick from 2005 with Kerry Washington where she isn’t blind. It looks like Castle—that “will-they-won’t-they-they-have-but-it’s-still-a-show” procedural with Captain Mal Reynolds—is getting in on that Brangelina hit. In 2015. In its eighth season. Even Bones did that (for the first time) back in 2006. Also, remember when people said “Brangelina” without questioning their place in life? The obviously-titled “Mr. & Mrs. Castle” is the fall finale for this season of Castle, and it promises to have merely a small percent of the fun that Mr. & Mrs. Smith did. Definitely no Adam Brody and most likely no Joe Strummer jam: “Castle and Beckett investigate the murder of a cruise ship entertainer, only to find themselves trapped at sea with the killer.” By the way, “CASTLE & BECKETT SET SAIL WITH A MURDERER! ON ABC’S CASTLE” is also a part of this press release. Just watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith, alright? That’s the real top pick. This was subterfuge—because of spies.
Also noted (aka shows that aren’t Castle)
Supergirl (CBS, 8 p.m.): We’re sorry, Caroline Siede, but with this week’s episode of Supergirl being titled “How Does She Do It?” all we can think of is:
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (The CW, 8 p.m.): “I’m So Happy That Josh Is So Happy.” Well this sounds like a coping mantra if ever there was one. And the fact that Dr. Phil is a guest star in the episode sounds like a threat. A flat-out threat. Is Dr. Phil’s guest starring role balanced out by Cedric Yarbrough’s guest starring role, even if Cedric Yarbrough isn’t guest starring as himself? We’ll have to watch and find out. Allison Shoemaker is just so happy that Rebecca is so happy that Josh is so happy.
Gotham (Fox, 8 p.m.): “Gordon confronts a suspect who is connected to Galavan, but falls short of obtaining any information. Meanwhile, Bruce gets one step closer to discovering the name of his parent’s killer.” Not only does this week’s Gotham synopsis mention Gordon, it mentions Bruce. There goes all of our fun. Luckily, Kyle Fowle hasn’t allowed Gotham’s typically Gordon/Bullock-deprived synopses to be part of his reviews. (Also, Gotham really wants people to care about Bruce figuring out who killed his parents? Does this show actually know what Batman is? Be honest.)
WWE Monday Night RAW (USA, 8 p.m.): Surely Kyle Fowle will have plenty to say in his review of this week’s Monday Night RAW, especially with it being the RAW right after Survivor Series. But we really want to address the generic press release for RAW, especially since it appears to have no idea who exactly is part of what era of WWE: “The Superstars and Divas from the World Wrestling Entertainment® Universe take the stage live in front of thousands in attendance at the CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburg, PA and the millions of fans watching at home. RAW Superstars and Divas include John Cena, CM Punk, AJ Lee, Roman Reigns, Kane, The Miz, Eve and Zack Ryder.” So you heard it here first: CM Punk, AJ Lee, and Eve are coming back to WWE!
Jane The Virgin (The CW, 9 p.m.): “Petra wants a friendship with Jane, but her mother’s antics once again thwart those efforts.” Honestly, never before have we wanted a grenade to be more effective than we did last week. Meanwhile, on the Jane side of things: “Jane and Rafael interview potential babysitters to help take some of the pressure off everyone, but Jane has specific and lengthy requirements. Jane attends her graduate school’s Christmas party in hopes of finding the perfect writing advisor, but things don’t go quite as planned.” Just let things go as planned, JTV! Do it for Oliver Sava!
Fargo (FX, 10 p.m.): Yes, Fargo is being mentioned again. It’s almost as though there’s a new Monday night What’s On Tonight contributor on the block! Crazy, right? We’re all the same people. Anyway, Fargo hopes to keep itself in the A-Grade Club with “Did You Do This? No, You Did It!” When you have as many A-grades (and that one A-) as Fargo, you can name your episodes whatever you want. “Lou and Hank investigate in Fargo, The King of Breakfast visits Betsy and Molly, Floyd is summoned away and Bear questions a family member’s loyalty.” Zack Handlen just wants to know if any of them did this. (Probably.)
Regular coverage (no Castle, but Firefly was part of TV Club Classic)
The Man In The High Castle (Amazon)
Gravity Falls (Disney XD, 8 p.m.)
Elsewhere in TV Club (outside of Castle acknowledgment)
Mena Suvari. Demon hunting. WEtv. Eli Roth. That’s all so crazy it just might work, right? Um… not according to Emily L. Stephens’ pre-air review for South Of Hell (which has all of the above), where Suvari plays Maria Abascal, a “demon-hunter-for-hire” in South Carolina. (Roth directed the pilot.) “Like those she hunts, Maria is divided within herself, struggling with her own demon, Abigail, who resides inside of her, feeding on the evil Maria exorcises from others. Maria and Abigail share a soul and a destiny, but as Maria desperately tries to overtake Abigail, she will discover how far Abigail will go to remain a part of her.” Spoiler alert: Stephens refers to the show as “an everlasting slog.” It could be worse though. It could be a “garbage fire.”
Bet you wish you were watching Castle now.
And now for something completely different, a reptilian-based Inventory: “14 regrettable works of dino-themed entertainment.” Only 14? Seems a bit low.
What else is on? (besides Castle)
Dancing With The Stars (ABC, 8 p.m.): “Also: performances by Meghan Trainor, Who Is Fancy and Ariana Grande.” Every week, there’s at least one moment when your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor just questions everything about her life. This is that moment.
Fashion Police (E!, 8 p.m.): Last night was supposedly the 2015 American Music Awards (sure, that’s an awards show), which means tonight is the Fashion Police episode all about that. Yay?
The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.): You would think NBC would make their synopses for The Voice anything but generic, since it’s the one show they want to last until the end of time. Instead, we get this: “The top 11 artists perform live in front of coaches Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams for America’s vote. Carson Daly (TODAY Show) hosts.” Is it strange that Carson Daly gets the where he’s from parenthetical? Well, it’s no stranger than the synopsis as a whole. This is The Voice, etc.
Love & Hip Hop Hollywood (VH1, 8 p.m.): Season two of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood ends tonight, so get ready for the next month or so of the reunion special.
Vanderpump Rules / Vanderpump Rules: After Show (Bravo, 9 p.m. / 11:30 p.m.): “Secrets are out in the open.” Someone has “to reassess her marriage.” Another someone has “a new flame.” Also, “a business plan is pitched.”
Scorpion (CBS, 9 p.m.): “When Team Scorpion and Walter’s parents visit Megan in the hospital as her health deteriorates, they are quarantined after a deadly fungus outbreak threatens to infect everyone.” Yet again, the “geniuses” at Team Scorpion screw everything up. We welcome the day of the inevitable Scorpion spin-off about Team Frog, a task force that has to clean up Team Scorpion’s oopsies.
Cake Wars (Food Network, 9 p.m.): “The five remaining teams create imaginative edible toys made by Santa’s unsupervised elves. Also: They construct a new ride for the man in red.” Has anyone questioned whether or not the Food Network is just one big grift?
Minority Report (Fox, 9 p.m.): Given this week’s episode title—“Memento Mori”—we’re going to assume someone at Minority Report is fan of A Series Of Unfortunate Events. (Let us have this.) In the episode itself, “Blake withholds information from the Defense Intelligence Agency when he learns they are on the precogs’ trail, and Arthur takes matters into his own hands to save them. Meanwhile, Dash gets a vision of a political assassination that intrudes into Vega’s personal life.” This honestly sounds pretty stressful.
Saints & Strangers (NatGeo, 9 p.m.): So ends the two-night movie event, and so ends your education on Thanksgiving. Stop learning… now. In case you don’t know how it ends from, you know, history: “Conclusion. Betrayals by the settlers endanger an alliance with the Pokanoket, and the pilgrims come up against a new threat when rumors spread about an imminent attack by a nearby tribe.”
Eddie Murphy: The Mark Twain Prize (PBS, 9 p.m.): “Salute comedian and actor Eddie Murphy, the 18th recipient of the coveted prize for American humor.” Well this is bossy as heck.
Major Crimes (TNT, 9 p.m.): Road rage kills. No, seriously—that’s what the episode is about. “The Major Crimes team is called to investigate a follow up attack on a victim of road rage, as a business executive and his wife fall prey to a furious driver in a pickup truck. As Thanksgiving approaches, Flynn suffers a setback on his road to recovery. And Rusty finally gets the interview with Slider that he wanted.” Hehe. “Slider.”
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 9:59 p.m.): “The team searches for a missing teenage girl who is feared to have been recruited by a terrorist organization.” Alright, an ISIS episode. But what does this have to do with the Navy?
Après Ski (Bravo, 10 p.m.): “Bobby meets with Tamara to address Elise’s unsettling accusations. In other events, Charlotte misses her boyfriend; Kendra works a steamy photo shoot for clients; Lynsey’s skills in adventure are tested; and tempers flare at a weekly review dinner.” Without having seen a single second of Après Ski, we can honestly say we’re not at all surprised by the names of any of the people on this show. Especially “Lynsey.”
Follow The Rules (MTV, 10 / 10:30 p.m.): “Ja recruits a chef to help Jordy with a school project…Ja asks celebrity pals to help Jordy try and beat Brittany in a viral video competition.” Bless Ja Rule for not even fronting when it comes to his kids having a super privileged life. Keep ‘em sheltered, Ja! (That came across way more sarcastic than it was actually intended. Seriously, keep ‘em sheltered. You earned it, Ja.)
Blindspot (NBC, 10 pm.): Sorry, Blindies, there’s no more Blindspot regular coverage. And this is despite the fact that a clip from last week’s episode was on the latest episode of The Soup. But on the less bummer side of things, this is the fall finale, so it’s not like there’s about to be a flurry of episodes to really twist the lack of coverage knife. At least not now. “In the thrilling mid-season finale the team goes after a group of sleeper spies that have just been activated and race to stop a slew of assassinations.” We love a good sleeper spy. How about you?
Legends (TNT, 10 p.m.): “In present day Paris, Kate is a fugitive as a result of her link to a violent attack. Martin puts her into hiding and attempts to use Nina to get Kate out of trouble. Meanwhile, Ballard learns some useful information from Ilyana that could lead him to Martin. In 2001 Prague, when Ilyana asks Dmitry for a dangerous favor, he offers her a deal instead. And Tamir tries to save his own skin by using evidence that could help Ballard and Gabi finally nail Dmitry.” Surely all of this makes sense to someone. It’s all very specific, after all.
Super Into (truTV, 10:30 p.m.): TV Guide has apparently decided that the best way to make audiences surprised by Super Into is to just skip episode synopses for the show. So there you have it. Prepare to be shocked.
Psycho (Chiller, 6:30 p.m.): As a goof, we uttered “please be the Vince Vaughn version, please be the Vince Vaughn version” before we clicked on the synopsis for this showing of Psycho. So at least we’re not disappointed. Thanks for staying on brand, Chiller.
Barbershop / Beauty Shop (ActionMax West, 7:25 / 9:10 p.m.): Someone, somewhere was begging for this scheduled double feature. To that person: You’re welcome.
Sports, sports, all type of sports (like the sport… of murder—only on Castle)
College Basketball: St. John’s at Vanderbilt (ESPN, 2:30 p.m.)
Barclays Premier League Soccer: Crystal Palace vs. Sunderland (NBC Sports, 2:55 p.m.)
College Basketball: Indiana at Wake Forest (ESPN2, 5 p.m.)
College Basketball: NJIT at Providence (FS1, 6:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Kansas State at Missouri (ESPNU, 7 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Magic at Cavaliers (FSN, 7 p.m.)
Monday Night Football: Bills at Patriots (ESPN, 8:15 p.m.)
College Basketball: Northern Kentucky at Xavier (FS1, 8:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Kansas at Chaminade (ESPU, 9 p.m.)
College Basketball: Northwestern at North Carolina (ESPN2, 9:30 p.m.)
In case you missed it (and it’s not Castle)