Undateable (NBC, 9 p.m.): Despite our well-honed editorial instinct which is spurring us to check and re-check the title of NBC’s new sitcom, we’re making it our top pick because hell, you gotta watch something, right? Undateable might be unwatchable, but we’re unwilling and unable to let it pass unnoticed. Undateable is that unusual phenomenon these days—a multi-camera sitcom. We’d understand if you didn’t want to undertake such a venture for fear of being underwhelmed. But fortunately for you (and unfortunately for the show), Erik Adams offered his unvarnished, uninhibited opinion of Undateable, and it’s under the link for anyone who wants to uncover it.
UNCANNILY, EVERYONE STOPPED READING THIS RIGHT AFTER THAT UNAPPETIZING PARAGRAPH
YUM, I DO LIKE A GOOD PARAGRAPH!
The Sixties (CNN, 9 p.m.): For some reason, CNN has decided that they need to revisit the’60s, a decade that no one has ever revisited in recent history, nope, absolutely not. Through August, the news network will hold your hand through a nostalgia machine that uses the terms “sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll,” “the Space Race,” and “the British Invasion” as if they are saying anything new. Tell us something we don’t know, CNN! What about the 1860s? Or the 1460s? Get us some 1460s action, Anderson Cooper.
Comedy Bang Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.): Where art the faithful? Thou knowest thy name; thou knowest thy cause. Thy knowest the call from above, pealing through the night in joyous song: Bang-bang! Bang-bang! Thy may also know thy writer for the evening—LaToya Ferguson, who promises not to use “thou” at any point. (More’s the pity.) Fred Armisen is tonight’s guest.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Friday Night Lights (2 p.m.): The Panthers get through the regular season and begin to look ahead to playoffs—and the elusive State Championships—in today’s pair of episodes, “What To Do While You’re Waiting” and “Little Girl I Wanna Marry You,” both of which are really annoying to type. Sonia Saraiya had to type them a bunch of times in her review, and now she is at home icing her wrists.
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
It’s always the Todd VanDerWerff show here at TV Club, but today, it is quite literally The TVDV Show: Todd has three different articles kicking around The A.V. Club today. One is a TV Review of the upcoming Crossbones, starring John Malkovich; another is a For Our Consideration on the weird phenomenon of sitcoms without any conflict. And the last is, with Genevieve Koski, Zack Handlen, and Carrie Raisler, a TV Roundtable on Sailor Moon, another show from our childhood that maybe has defined our whole existence since then.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
The American Bible Challenge (GSN, 8 p.m.): Yes, until this show ends its run, we will always note it in “What Else Is On?” meaning that you will always know when it is on, and one day, though this day may never come, you will be scrolling through your stupidly numerous cable channels looking for something to watch, and you will alight on this, and you will feel a keen moment of sorrow. In that moment, look to the east—for we will be there, buzzers in hand. Game show nerds do not fuck around.
L.A. Hair (WE, 9 p.m.): “A Thin Line Between Love And Fake” is the name of the episode. And the description, according to TV Guide: “Anthony and Lisa continue not to get along; Naja brings the drama to the launch party for Angela’s salon; China’s sister is hired as the new receptionist; and Kim tries to sell singer Macy Gray on big hair.” Weird that we don’t watch this show already.
How It’s Made (Science, 9 p.m.): Covered tonight: wooden gift boxes, mobile stages, mascara.
Food Court Wars (Food Network, 10 p.m.): “In Lansing, Mich., a married couple hope to secure a food court location for their gourmet hot dog business, but coworkers who run a grilled chicken cart are standing in their way.” HOW ARE WE NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW ALREADY. WHO ARE THE GRILLED CHICKEN CART PEOPLE. WHAT IS THIS CONSPIRACY.
Our America With Lisa Ling (OWN, 10 p.m.): Lisa Ling is a reporter, this is the Oprah Winfrey Network, and tonight’s third-season premiere is called “Fighting Satan.”
Citizen Kane (TCM, 8 p.m.): Well, now you really don’t have an excuse: You can DVR this tonight and be the most cinematically literate person in your ZIP code starting tomorrow. We’re thinking about watching it, primarily because then we’d both a) know why people always say “Rosebud” all the time and b) have something to talk about when we’re awkwardly forced to chat with the film editors in the office. “So, uh, how about that Citizen Kane? Really Rosebud-y. Yeah.”
Gone In Sixty Seconds (Starz, 9 p.m.): We have seen this movie more times than it really deserves, and we can only chalk that up to the mysterious power of Nicolas Cage, hero and erstwhile king. Also, the title of this movie is dumb. But there is one character named Switch and another named Sway, and exactly one of those is played by Angelina Jolie.
Stanley Cup Playoffs: Game six, Canadiens at Rangers (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.): It’s down to the wire in both conferences leading up to the Stanley Cup final—the Rangers lead the Canadiens 3-2. If they can clinch a win on home ice tonight, they will compete for the cup against either the Blackhawks or the Kings. If they don’t, the series will roll over to game seven. Something extremely similar happens with basketball, did you know that?
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Band Of Brothers: Todd VanDerWerff is almost done with his run of this devastating little series, and the penultimate episode, “Why We Fight,” is a heartbreaker.