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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Kid Nation: The Root Of All Evil

Illustration for article titled iKid Nation/i: The Root Of All Evil
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Illustration for article titled iKid Nation/i: The Root Of All Evil

Here's a funny realization I came to with tonight's Kid Nation: Though there are 38 kids left, I only know half of them, at most. Some stars have clearly emerged, and new kids get a bit of screen time each week. This time, it was Nathan (the home-schooled weirdo), Pharaoh (the sweet hard-worker, who may just be after the gold star), and conniving little diva Divad (who's definitely just after the gold star).

First off, though, to last week's tease: Along with the other 14 people who actually watch Kid Nation, I was excited to see Jared have a temper tantrum. On the "next week" bit last week, he was seen kicking over a table in anger. He's a weird kid, and it turns out he's something of a social avenger, too, but without any staying power. When Divad starts preparing the town's food and selling it for her own profit–a questionable move, but no one besides Jared seems to mind much–he gets upset at the injustice of it all, then does what any normal person would do: He attacks her business, trashing it.

Divad is perfectly calm, though, and sweet, weird little Jared feels bad almost immediately, and spends the rest of his screen time trying awkwardly to flirt with her. Again, producers, listen up: The Truman Show but starring Jared. It's guaranteed gold, and guaranteed to end tragically–maybe swiftly, maybe not, but tragically in any case.

Compared to our man Jared, Nathan is just a little off. He clearly has a tendency toward obsessive-compulsive behavior, which mean ol' Greg abuses him for at every turn. (Or maybe Nathan's just the only kid in town who actually wants clean dishes.) In an odd turn, Greg ends up apologizing for acting like the pubescent turd he is. Awww.

Challenge=meh. The council chooses between a modern washer-dryer (just like they had in the Old West) and a hand-cranked one, which also comes with a new set of clothes for each kid. Obvious choice, they go with the latter.

Later, Jared opens a store of his own, selling souvenir necklaces, which are snapped up quickly, and at a pretty price. Then, we are rewarded with something even sweeter than Jared having a tantrum–Jared buying new clothes and strutting around like the Bonanza pimp. (After exclaiming "Holy banana bread!") Jared, you're making Kid Nation bearable with every breath you take.

Grade: B

Stray observations:

— Taylor is shown being relatively human, though she's not shown much.

— Gold star goes to Nathan, clearly because Pharaoh basically begged for it. He'll get it soon.

— No one left. No surprise there.

— The fucking star is still worth its weight in gold. Hey dipshit, if it's made of gold, of course it's worth its weight in gold.

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