If the last 50 years of pop culture have taught us anything, it's that all nerds will eventually build a robot friend, Nicole Kidman was never properly thawed out after To Die For, and all problems can be solved by one incredible dance. But the most important thing we've learned from the last 50 years of pop culture is that cars are sentient beings. I mean, obviously. Fixed somewhere within the gears, every motor vehicle has eyes, ears, and a brain. Also, most cars love the song "Life Is A Highway."

Until this commercial for Jeep, however, I never considered that cars could read—or, that if they could read they would choose to read The Game. But apparently, that's what Jeeps are reading these days because in this commercial they're trying to neg everyone into buying a Jeep.

"So while you tune in, I'll be somewhere getting out."

Translation: "So while you're sitting around staring pathetically at the television, too lazy to even DVR past Jeep commercials, I'll be outside somewhere having a great fucking time." Uh, sounds good, Jeep. You do that. I'll be over here watching television, you know, like a human being. The sad part is, there's a lot of television that Jeeps would probably love—Top Gear, Pimp My Ride, RuPaul's Drag Race (for the racing motif)—but they're too stupid and too busy going extreme cliff driving or whatever to notice.

Instead of "I live. I drive. Jeep." they should just change the slogan to: "Get off your lazy ass and buy me. Jeep." They'll probably exhaust the world's supply of Jeeps after 2 commercials.