As everyone is more than aware of at this point, Jay Leno will never retire. One day, probably decades from now, he'll slump over in his chair on The Tonight Show set, and a couple of PAs will hinge open the top of his desk/coffin and place him inside. The staff will then load the desk/coffin onto the back of an antique firetruck and lead a procession to Leno's airplane hangar(s) full of cars. Once there, someone will solemnly drive the firetruck inside, then walk out, close the doors of the garage for one last time, and then set the entire place on fire. This is Leno's version of a Viking funeral.

Still, it's a shame that Leno will never retire, because as this "Update" video from his website demonstrates, Leno would be very, very good at retirement. He looks perfectly at ease standing around in his denim everyman costume, leaning on car parts, and pretending to be a mechanic. He has several garages full of time-killing antique-car-tinkering opportunities. Why is he so scared of retiring?   


This video is just sad. Clearly Leno is missing out on his true calling: being a retired person. And everyone is angry at him for that—Even the intern who wrote the description of this video:

Exciting. Good to see everyone is enthused about this whole Jay Leno reclaiming The Tonight Show thing.


Incidentally, did you know you can purchase your own denim everyman costume—just like Jay Leno's?

Jay Leno's Garage is an auto enthusist wonderland, and this new auto shop style Denim Button Down is a perfect way to display your auto expertise.


Actually, this explains a lot. All this time, I thought Jay Leno was wearing denim button-downs as a misguided attempt to seem approachable, but as it turns out he just wears them because he wants to look like he works in an "auto shop." I guess he thought grease-stained coveralls were too much?