Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, November 28. All times are Eastern.
Lady Gaga & The Muppets' Holiday Spectacular (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): Happy Thanksgiving! If that title doesn't make you uncomfortable right from the get-go, boy, does ABC have the holiday extravaganza for you! Lady Gaga will be singing from her new album ARTPOP with Kermit the Frog (our personal hero here at the What's On Tonight offices); Elton John, RuPaul, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will also be performing. Kristen Bell, apparently, is also going to do something or other. We are not sure if we are looking forward to this, but it seems like it's going to be a must-see television event, and nothing's better for freaking out your older relatives than a) fuzzy puppets and b) flashbacks to last season of Drag Race. We're thankful for Veronica Mars; we're thankful for Ru; but most of all, we're thankful for Beaker. And for Myles McNutt, who will be covering this fiasco for us.
Glee (Fox, 9 p.m.): Yeah, why is Glee airing a new episode on Thanksgiving? "Puppet Masters" will have some stuff about Sue's signature track suit, and also some stuff about how Blaine is going to win at Nationals, and also absolutely nothing about Thanksgiving, America's Greatest Holiday, whatsoever. Worse, this is the second year in a row that such a travesty has occurred. Why is Ryan Murphy waging war on Thanksgiving? Our tireless reviewer Brandon Nowalk intends to find out, because he is a fedora-wearing reporter who won't give up on a good news story, even if the truth hurts.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, marathon, 2 p.m. to 10 p.m.): Finn and Jake go on adventures in the land of Ooo for eight freaking hours, which shakes out to 24 episodes, if they air four every hour. It's a Thanksgivvukah miracle.
Modern Family (USA, marathon, 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 a.m.): I mean, if you really want to catch up on Modern Family, you can do that, too.
Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC, 8 p.m.): Snoopy serves popcorn, ice cream, and toast to Charlie Brown's hosts at Thanksgiving dinner. The short "This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Mayflower Voyagers" will also air.
Sunday Night Football: Steelers At Ravens (NBC, 8:30 p.m.): It's not Sunday, but there is Sunday Night Football, which is the kind of holiday magic that Thanksgiving brings us in America. We are thankful that we can't remember exactly how many accused rapists are on each team. Both teams go into the game 5-6.
ALSO THERE IS A FRIENDS MARATHON
Friends (TBS, 10 a.m.): "The One Where Underdog Gets Away." Monica intends to host a cozy Thanksgiving feast in her apartment with her friends, but her plans go awry, and the feast becomes a fiasco. FIASCO!!!!
Friends (TBS, 10:30 a.m.): "The One with the List." Rachel makes a painful discovery concerning Ross. Monica's new boss gives her an impossible task. TO PUSH A STONE UP A MOUNTAIN, FOREVER, LIKE SISYPHUS BEFORE HER.
Friends (TBS, 11 a.m.): "The One with the Football." On Thanksgiving, a good-natured football game between the friends reveals some serious rivalries. Israel-Palestine tensions have never been higher.
Friends (TBS, 11:30 a.m.): "The One with Chandler in a Box." On Thanksgiving, Joey wants to punish Chandler for kissing Kathy. Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor. A SURPRISE INFECTION.
Friends (TBS, noon): "The One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks." The friends find out about Monica's worst Thanksgiving ever. And Chandler's hot mom shows up. Hot moms. They're the worst.
Friends (TBS, 12:30 a.m.): "The One Where Ross Got High." On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favor with Monica's parents, but an old secret involving Ross causes problems. Undomestic Rachel's dessert proves intriguing. (Dear TBS: What is "undomestic"? Is it contagious?)
Friends (TBS, 1 p.m.): "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs." (TV-PG) – Chandler's irrational fear causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute dog. LET ME LOVE YOU, DOG.
Friends (TBS, 1:30 p.m.): "The One with the Rumor." Monica encounters a high-school friend (Brad Pitt) and invites him to Thanksgiving Day dinner. He brings Angelina Jolie. High jinks ensue!
Friends (TBS, 2 p.m.): "The One with Rachel's Other Sister." Rachel has a bone to pick with her self-centered sister on Thanksgiving. Christina Applegate guest-stars in the only episode of Friends we haven't seen.
Friends (TBS, 2:30 p.m.): "The One with the Late Thanksgiving." Monica prepares a Thanksgiving feast for the gang, then becomes enraged when everyone shows up late; Phoebe convinces Rachel to enter Emma in a baby beauty contest. Here comes Emma Boo Boo.
Friends (TBS 3 p.m.): "The One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner." Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, "Smelly Cat," a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman with a handicap.
Friends (TBS, 3:30 p.m.): "The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break (Part 1)." Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel. And we become involved with crystal meth. Fun for the whole family!
Friends (TBS, 4 p.m.): "The One the Morning After (Part 2)." Ross wakes up with Chloe, but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
Friends (TBS, 4:30 p.m.): "The One Without the Ski Trip." Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them. (Rachel. Choose Rachel. Come on, choose Rachel.)