Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, December 31. All times are Eastern.

Top pick

Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2015 (ABC, 8 p.m.) / Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2015 (ABC, 11:30 p.m.): As the old saying (that your friendly, neighborhood What’s On Tonight correspondent just made up) goes, it’s not New Year’s Eve without a little bit of rockin’. This year, Ryan Seacrest has enlisted the help of Jenny McCarthy on the East coast (free Wahlburgers for all!) and Fergie on the West coast (free VHS recordings of Great Pretenders for all!) to get said rockin’ going. It’s a tough job—especially since network New Year’s Eve specials are slaves to the local news—but somebody’s got to do it. Hopefully the brief intermission between Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and New Year’s Rockin’ Eve proper will give you all the time you need to get The Routine down. We wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself.

Regular coverage

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What’s else is on? PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

Pitbull’s New Year’s Revolution (Fox, 8 p.m. and 11 p.m.)

MTV’s NYE 2015 (MTV, 11 p.m.)

A Toast To 2014! (NBC, 8 p.m.)

New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly 2014 (NBC, 10 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.)

Live From Lincoln Center: New York Philharmonic New Year’s Eve: Gershwin Celebration With Dianne Reeves (PBS, 8 p.m.)

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Michael Feinstein’s New Year’s Eve At The Rainbow Room (PBS, 10 p.m.)

What else is on? MARATHONS!

The Walking Dead (AMC, all day): This New Year’s Eve, why not take a moment to think about how we are, in fact, the walking dead? It will blow your mind. This particular marathon actually started on New Year’s Eve Eve at 9 a.m., so have fun hopping right in.

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The Twilight Zone (Syfy, 7 a.m.): Syfy’s annual New Year’s Twilight Zone marathon is probably your best bet for today. It’s also the best inspiration for New Year’s resolutions: Aspiring to not end up like any of the characters on The Twilight Zone (original or even Forest Whitaker era) in 2015 is quite the goal, if we say so ourselves.

The Simpsons (FXX, 7 p.m.): Surprise! There’s a Simpsons marathon on FXX (starting with The Simpsons Movie), the Simpsons network! It’s a New Year’s Eve miracle!

The Three Stooges (IFC, 7 p.m.): Surprise! There’s a Three Stooges marathon on IFC, the Three— Wait, that one doesn’t really work here. The actual surprise will be if this turns out to be a marathon of the movie and not the show. Fingers crossed.

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What else is on? MOVIES! SPORTS!

Ladyhawke (HBO Family East, 5 p.m.) / Inspector Gadget (HBO Family East, 7 p.m.) / Wargames (HBO Family East, 8:30 p.m.): HBO Family (East) appears to be having a rockin’ Matthew Broderick night, with three of his films playing back-to-back(-to-back). Word of advice: Inspector Gadget might be the right time to take an intermission and turn on one of the many New Year’s Eve marathons. Unless you want to be reminded of the musical stylings of Youngstown, a boy band that can only be described as the illegitimate child of 98 Degrees and LFO:

The Rules Of Attraction (OuterMAX, 8:15 p.m.): TV Guide Dude is feeling especially saucy when it comes to this synopsis, calling the film (arguably the best adaptation of a Bret Easton Ellis novel—no offense to American Psycho but all offense to The Informers) a “Weak adaptation of Brett [sic] Easton Ellis’s novel further marred by Roger Avary’s excessively flashy direction.” Seeing as how New Year’s Eve is a night all about the “excessively flashy,” this is a top movie pick. Rock and roll, TV Guide Dude.

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Orange Bowl: Mississippi State vs. Georgia Tech (ESPN, 8:10 p.m.): The evenly matched Mississippi State Bulldogs and Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets face-off in the Orange Bowl, which is as good a way as any to spend your New Year’s Eve if you’re not rockin’ or watching The Simpsons.

In case you missed it

Benched / Selfie: Last night was Benched’s first season finale, and it featured all of our excitement (Emily L. Stephens ran into a wall in all the excitement) as Trophy Wife’s Albert Tsai and Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown made guest appearances. Last night was also Selfie’s series finale, and it featured all of our tears (Brandon Nowalk brought the tissues and cried the most) over the series being cancelled before its time. It was a very emotional Tuesday night.

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One last thing

2014 is officially ending. Goodbye to you.

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