Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, June 27. All times are Eastern.
Shark Week: Shallow Water Invasion (Discovery Channel, 8 p.m.): Quick! Where’s Blake Lively?! Get it? Because “shallow”/The Shallows? Ah, you get it Anyway, so begins (the second night of) Discovery Channel’s 28th Shark Week, which is still a thing people care about. You’d think Discovery Channel would have covered all people before it finally got to 28 Shark Weeks, but apparently not. So let’s look at the Shark Week schedule and get more in depth (wocka wocka) with this:
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding us, Discovery Channel! You had one job, and it wasn’t even to make any of these shark shows different—it was literally just to properly describe them. Back to Blake Lively it is, then.
Shark Week: Jaws Of The Deep (Discovery Channel, 9 p.m.): Let’s try this again. Obviously, Discovery Channel’s website is not the place to go for any information on Jaws Of The Deep. Neither is Blake Lively or any of her filmography. So we looked harder, and here’s what we found: “In a hunt for Deep Blue, the world’s largest great white shark, a team uses robot subs in its search and to build a profile of the creature.” Why? Why not just put on Jaws? In fact, that should be Shark Week’s entire slogan: “Why not just put on Jaws?”
Shark Week: Sharks Among Us (Discovery Channel, 10 p.m.): Fine, we’ll play ball this time. By the way, Eli Roth is hosting Shark Week for the second year in a row. That’s fun, right? Is he one of the sharks who are among us? Probably not, but the title makes it sound like there are anthropomorphic sharks living in our neighborhoods and we’re running out of interesting things to say about Shark Week. How has Discovery Channel gotten 28 years of material out of this? “Sharks Among Us… details how encounters with sharks are on the rise and so is public anxiety.” And yet 28 years of Shark Week appears to say it’s all good.
Premieres and finales
Southern Charm (Bravo, 8 p.m.): It’s part one of the Southern Charm “Reunion,” and since reality show reunions are another beast entirely, this counts as a premiere. And a finale. Like we said, another beast entirely. But just imagine if reality show reunions were like high school reunions. There’d definitely be a lot less shenanigans with that over-priced cash bar and inability to remember who anyone is. Now that would be entertaining.
U.S. Olympic Trials: Swimming (NBC, 8 p.m.): No sharks here. You decide whether or not that’s a selling point. We already know what Eli Roth thinks.
How To Let Go Of The World And Love All The Things Climate Can’t Change (HBO, 9 p.m.): Well that’s definitely a catchy title. It’s also tonight’s documentary.
Teen Mom 2: Season 7 Unseen Moments (MTV, 9 p.m.): You should assume that it’s just an hour of uncensored childbirths. We know we will.
American Ninja Warrior (NBC, 9 p.m.): Tonight, American Ninja Warrior comes on at a “special time” for its “Philadelphia Qualifier.” Will this be the night that the ninjas appear? Honestly, we think there’s a better chance of sharks—those obstacle courses don’t play.
Angie Tribeca (TBS, 9 p.m.): This is only the fifth episode of Angie Tribeca’s second season, but it’s also the end of the road for TV Club and LaToya Ferguson’s Angie Tribeca coverage. It’s “A Coldie But A Goodie,” and it looks like there’s fallout from last week’s Meet ’N’ Cheat debacle: “Tribeca can’t shake the feeling that the cause of a 102-year-old’s death isn’t as natural as others believe, but her concerns fall on deaf ears. Why? She’s on probation after that whole data breach snafu. Also something about an election…?”
Turn (AMC, 10 p.m.): Turn: Washington’s Spies gets its full name tonight, because it’s third-season finale time. So in “Trial And Execution,” “there is an inevitable march to the gallows for the captured spies on both sides.” Well that says a whole lot of nothing. But now we’re intrigued.
Monica The Medium (Freeform, 10 p.m.): In the Monica The Medium season two finale, “School Spirit,” the ghost of “the old Kanye” speaks to Monica, with a message for everyone. Just kidding—that would be legit. Instead: “Monica thinks the time is right to host her first solo event on campus and recruits her roommates for help. But the pressure of filling a large venue and sharing her gift with her peers leads Monica to break down. Monica and Tyler’s relationship continues to progress, but while on a date, Monica encounters a woman still grieving the tragic death of her mother many years before. Meanwhile, the group decides to celebrate Kayla’s graduation with a surprise paintball game.” In what plane of existence does this at all read like a synopsis of a non-scripted show? And who cares about Kayla’s graduation, as the show is not called Kayla The Graduate?
Orange Is The New Black (Netflix)
Wander Over Yonder (Disney XD, 8 p.m.)
WWE Monday Night RAW (USA, 8 p.m.)
BrainDead (CBS, 10 p.m.)
UnREAL (Lifetime, 10 p.m.)
Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, “Mystery Solvers Club State Finals” (Amazon Video/Netflix): We were going to suggest Jabberjaw (which is also available on Amazon Video), but then we thought better of asking people to spend money on Jabberjaw. So instead we’ll suggest a great episode of television, from a great show… that just so happens to feature Jabberjaw. As well as a bunch of those other Scooby-Doo rip-offs. (See, Jabberjaw is a shark, and it’s Shark Week.) Of course, we suggest you watch the entire series, which was a dark (but funny and intelligent), serialized approach to Scooby-Doo! Seriously, it’s the best and it deserves its own week, at the very least.