Did you know that, right now, hidden somewhere in the abandoned Curves in a strip mall on Staten Island that The Insider pretends is their "television headquarters," Jon Gosselin and Nancy Grace are engaged in a shout-off that could determine the fate of the entire universe? Well, maybe not the fate of the entire universe—but they are determining how many yells you can fit into what used to be the locker room at an abandoned Curves before the air becomes so screamy that it tears a giant hole in the roof.  So there's that:

(via Buzzfeed)

How does Nancy know she doesn't care about Jon's CZs, excuse me, CZzzz? Has she seen the way the flaming rose/Ed Hardy logo at the center of the earrings catches the light just so?  It's enough to make any be-gelled jerk swoon.

So many yells by such thoroughly unlikable people—and it's only Day 2! By Day 6, Jon Gosselin and Nancy Grace will have shouted so hard at each other for so long that they'll both shatter into piles of plastic pellets and Bare Minerals foundation—Nancy's topped with her ash blonde newslady wig and lizard eyes, and Jon's marked by his beloved CZ stud earrings.