Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, November 7. All times are Eastern.
South Park (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): For years now, South Park has been cranking out reliably enjoyable post-election episodes, and this year’s—with the title “Obama Wins!”—seems as if it was predicting the future when it was in production. Or maybe Trey Parker and Matt Stone are just big Nate Silver fans. Who knows? Marcus Gilmer closes out this season by seeing if Parker and Stone also accurately predicted the electoral college count, the fall of Allen West, and that whole thing where a couple of states legalized weed. We’ll take even money on the latter.
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): We’re not going to stop until there’s an episode of this show that ends with Oliver shooting someone with one of his arrows, then pumping his fist, and saying, “ARROW’D!” in his best Strong Bad impression. Myles McNutt, stepping in for Alasdair Wilkins, loves Teen Girl Squad.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): One of tonight’s episodes involves Sue and Brick heading to a pawn shop, and that sounds like good, wholesome sitcom fun. Will Harris is hoping that they can find Brick’s old voice at the store. He knows people have to age, but why do TV kids have to do so? It’s so terrifying!
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): Brutally honest conversations at Tribal Council. Surprising revelations. Blah, blah, blah. Sounds like business as usual for the reality stalwart. Carrie Raisler’s hoping tonight’s title, “Dead Man Walking,” presages the contestants constructing their own maximum security prison on the island.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): At one time, we thought having Shelley Long play Jay’s ex-wife on this show was a stroke of genius, but the show has mostly wasted her after season one. Donna Bowman hopes that her appearance tonight will be better than that one time she wandered around that party.
Supernatural (The CW, 9 p.m.): Sam and Dean take on a ghost who’s responsible for a murder. Phil Dyess-Nugent knows that the only ghost who’s been convicted of homicide is the infamous Bell Witch, and he’s pretty sure the show would just botch that legend entirely. Leave the Bell Witch alone!
Suburgatory (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): When Dalia finds a new best friend, what will happen to Kaitlyn, Kenzie, and Kimantha? We hope that there’s some sort of friend match program that finds them a new, loving home. Brandon Nowalk would take them in, but he’d rather not spend all the extra money on food.
American Horror Story (FX, 10 p.m.): We have no idea why this episode is called “I Am Anne Frank,” or why it’s apparently the first part of a two-parter, but we know that since this is American Horror Story, that title could be literally true. Todd VanDerWerff hopes the Pope returns for a guest appearance.
Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): The strongest thing about this first season so far has been the Rayna/Deacon/Teddy love triangle, and since this episode seems to promise even more of it, Todd VanDerWerff is cautiously hopeful it will be all worth it. But he’d also take more sultry duets.
Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m.): America’s favorite cooking reality show returns with another season, and Emily Withrow returns to cover it. Will this be the season that the chefs finally are forced to hunt, then cook the most dangerous game? We can only hope that Bravo’s standards and practices will allow it.
Key & Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Tonight’s sketches include a “non-stop party for the techno-pop duo LMFAO,” and we’re going to be cautiously optimistic about that, uh, being a thing that will make sense in the context of the episode. Steve Heisler is always throwing non-stop techno-pop parties.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Sopranos (1 p.m.): “Remember when is the lowest form of conversation,” says Tony Soprano, but Todd VanDerWerff would like you to remember when this show aired some of its greatest episodes. Now imagine him introducing them like an announcer on an ad for a Time-Life classic rock compilation.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Nature (PBS, 8 p.m.): If you’re looking for an adorable nature documentary to check out tonight, you could do far worse than “Animal Odd Couples,” an episode all about what happens when animals of two different species get together and become best friends. Hippos and tortoises living together! Chaos!
Toy Hunter (Travel, 9 p.m.): The enjoyable reality trifle takes a trip around the country to find Star Wars toys, in an episode that seems suspiciously well-timed to capitalize on the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney. Release the tapes, Travel Channel! Then also release all those Jawas you’re keeping locked up!
Deals From The Darkside (Syfy, 10 p.m.): Looking for a genuine Titanic deck chair? Then you’ve come to the right place, in this series that attempts to track down allegedly cursed items or items associated with awful tragedies. Just think! If you had that deck chair, you could constantly shuffle it around!
LOLWork (Bravo, 11 p.m.): Well, it’s finally happened. Somebody’s made a reality show about the people who bring you LOLcats, set deep within the bowels of Cheezburger. If you’ve been waiting for something to treat Internet memes with the deathly importance you think they’re due, here you go.
We Bought A Zoo (HBO, 7:45 p.m.): Call us naïve, but if you’re looking for a surefire business proposition, buying a zoo doesn’t seem like the sort of thing you should just do on the spur of the moment. Yet that’s what Matt Damon gets up to in this Cameron Crowe giant puddle of goo.
Diamonds Are Forever (BBC America, 9 p.m.): Get ready for Skyfall—unless you’ve already seen it—by checking out Sean Connery’s final appearance as James Bond, at least in the canonical series of films. (Don’t ask.) Plus, you’ll get to see him square off with Blofeld, everybody’s favorite Bond villain.
NBA Basketball: 76ers at Hornets (ESPN, 8 p.m.): We were going to say something about this whole thing, but then we realized we don’t know the requisite amount about either of these teams to make a joke that would make any sense. Consider this your chance to fill in a joke for us in comments!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Sons Of Anarchy (Tuesday): Most of TV took last night off in favor of election excitement, but FX’s number one drama provided you with your requisite amount of scripted shenanigans. That is, Zack Handlen asserts, if you can believe that the outcome of the election wasn’t totally scripted itself!