You may remember Jennifer Aniston from her years of service on Friends, or from that one movie where love finally happened to her. Maybe you remember Jennifer Aniston from her well-documented, palpable sadness and loneliness, or from her prominent position on Joe Francis' rock-solid powerpoint defense for tax evasion. Or maybe you remember Jennifer Aniston as the vaguely human face you saw before a searing pain hit directly behind your eyes and everything went beige.
But however you remember Jennifer Aniston, your reaction to the news that she might be getting her own talk show on Oprah Winfrey's new network will no doubt be: "Jennifer Aniston can talk?"
Aniston has agreed to do a weekly show for Oprah's new cable channel, OWN, when it finally launches sometime next year, according to a report over the weekend.
While the idea of the former "Friends" star putting her career on hold to host a weekly cable show seems improbable at first glance, the report in London's Express newspaper says that Aniston is taken with the idea of starring on her own talk show.
Salary would not be a factor for the actress, who earns $5-7 million a movie, says the report.
"She is doing this for one reason only; she absolutely wants to do it," the paper quotes a source "close to the deal."
First off, of course Oprah's new cable channel is called OWN. It's just so honest, considering that her whole schtick is all about both encouraging conspicuous consumption and claiming the world in the name of Oprah. Although, Oprah could have gone one step further and called the network "OWN YOU," because, you know, even if Oprah doesn't currently own you, she totally could.
Secondly, "Jennifer Aniston is doing this because Jennifer Aniston wants to do this," is the new "I'll do what I want." Everyone loves an indignant talk show host.
It seems that Aniston, 40, wants to duplicate what she saw last month as a guest on the Chelsea Handler show, "Chelsea Lately," on the E! channel.
Oh, so Aniston's new show will also feature painful topical sketches and a midget mascot/walking joke named Chewy?
Below are a few title suggestions for Jennifer Aniston's tribute to her talk show hero, Chelsea Handler:
Beige Can Talk!
The Crying Corner With Jennifer Aniston
Maybe I'll Talk About Brad Someday On This Show
Real Talk With J-Dog
The My Friends Think I'm Really Funny Show
A Room Of Jen's OWN (get it?)
Chat N' You Know That Thing Where I Look Off To The Side, Then Look Back, Then Look Off To The Side Again? With Jennifer Aniston
The Aniston Technique
Woo! With Jennifer Aniston