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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Heroes: Into Asylum

Illustration for article titled iHeroes/i: Into Asylum
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Hey, we’re back, and coming off an episode that even the Heroes haters thought was pretty good. Was it just because of those glorious, overdue deaths? (RIP Nikki and Daphne, but please don’t come back.) Is it because Hiro and Ando don’t seem insanely annoying for the first time in volumes? Is it because there’s actually some potentially interesting shit coming down the pipe via Sylar and the increasingly mysterious Danko? Am I actually semi-jazzed to watch a Heroes episode? I do believe I am. No, I am not high. Heroes, don’t let me down, you bastards.


And you didn’t! Or at least one-third of you didn’t! Of the three stories delivered tonight, one was clearly the winner, so I won’t spend too much time on the wheel-spinning family drama of the other two. Let me just get it out of the way now: Peter saved Angela last week. They escaped to her church. They had a heart-to-heart. Her power requires sleep. She finally got some. She now has a plan, which involves meeting up with…

Nathan and Claire, who fled to Mexico (the cleanest Mexico ever!) in order to play a drinking game with some frat boys. (Because clearly the best way for a guy who can fly and a totally invincible girl to get money is to play a drinking game.) Also: Why the hell does Claire have any faith in Nathan anymore? She knows full well that he was behind the plot to lock all the heroes up in Guantanamo style! Why does she think he might still have some kind of plan? All he could think of was a drinking game, for Christ’s sake! (Speaking of Christ’s sake, Peter’s plan wasn’t much better—he prayed.)


But finally, we get the two great snakes of Heroes together—Danko and Sylar. They’re like evil little peas in a pod, and each wants the same thing: the death of everyone with abilities. They’re about to turn into a two-man wrecking crew of hero murderers, which should lead to some pretty decent TV. It did tonight, even if the plot to catch one-ep shapeshifter Martin was incredibly dumb. I even forgive the idea—straight out of some bad ’50s detective movie—that they found him by looking at a fucking MATCHBOX. Where’s the killer? Let’s see, does he have a matchbox at his apartment? Oh, he’s gotta be there. Like right now. Disguised as one of us.

But still, it gave a chance for these two weasel detectives to get together, and for them to really mesh—especially when Danko asked Sylar not to cut the guy’s head open, so they could use the body to make everyone (particularly Noah) think that Sylar was actually dead. (Does Noah buy it? I doubt it. He knows Danko’s not that good.) Also: Does the shapeshifter’s body not shift back to its original state once it’s dead? (You’d think that’s how these things go.)


But still: I was entertained. I’m looking forward to whatever final battle we have ahead of us in the next few episodes. Clearly the entire team of heroes will have to get together (perhaps soundtracked by “House Of The Rising Sun”) and defeat the combo team of baddies.

Man, it would sure set things up nicely for the end of the series right here, wouldn’t it? Sylar puts his trust in a partner that’s almost as evil as him, the rest of the heroes get together and somehow vanquish these dangerous men, and then we all get to ride off into the sunset in a more peaceful world. Will they somehow fail to give us closure? (At least Danko is supposedly only in 10 episodes, so maybe he’ll kick the bucket at least.)


But these are minor complaints about things that haven’t happened yet. If the remaining episodes of this volume are as downright half-decent as this one and last week’s, I’ll be a reasonably happy sorta-fan.

Grade: B

Stray observations:

— “You’re a shapeshifter,” says Sylar to Danko. Foreshadow much?

— It’s funny how Danko seems in awe of Sylar. Good job, actor with the hard-to-pronounce name!


— “He’s trying to convert the power into love.” Oh, sweet Jesus.

— “You’d be the only one left.” Duh, Danko—you’re just piecing this together now? Sylar is going to fuck you up, son.


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