Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Glenn Beck Wants To Be Funny On Purpose

Weepy, shouty, self-described Fox News "rodeo clown" Glenn Beck is already a very well-established joke—so Beck is taking his act on the road this summer to try and be funny on purpose. Naturally, it sounds miserable. From USA Today:

Glenn Beck, Fox News Channel's latest sensation, is taking a comedy show on the road for six live performances over six days during the first week of June.

Beck calls his act a "poor man's Seinfeld" and intends to mix topical humor with his modern-day reimagining of Thomas Paine's 1776 pamphlet Common Sense.


A "poor man's Seinfeld"? So: unoriginal, painfully dull observational humor, then? Way to keep expectations in the subterranean range, Beck. But judging by this promo for Beck's upcoming comedy tour, it's not really barely considered, slice-o-life humor like, "What's the deal with Quick? You have open the container, pour a glass of milk, stir some powder in until it's completely dissolved. They should call it 'Takes A Few Minutes!'"  Beck's comedy is more like "You know the foamy part of vomit? I gathered all that together and made a diamond out of that." (Seriously. That's the closest thing there is to a joke in the promo.)

You wouldn't know it judging by that, but apparently Beck's been doing these comedy tours for about five years—which is a long time to be doing a comedy show without any discernable reason to laugh. He told USA Today that he likes getting out there amongst the people because it's an educational experience.  "I learn something from the audience," he said. "I know my thoughts but I can see their reaction to things." And what scary, sallow, stone-faced reactions they are:

Illustration for article titled Glenn Beck Wants To Be Funny On Purpose

It's not the audience's fault that they're incapable of smiling, of course. They're just following Beck's orders and keeping their 9/12/01 faces on.