Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, March 20. All times are Eastern.
March Madness (everywhere, March): BASKETSSBAAALL!! Where the orange orbs fly into the swishy things! THE BASKETS! Also sneakers!! Let’s play some ORANGE BALL GAME! (Why don’t they rebrand themselves as “The Madness”? We would be so much more scared if March Madness was The March Madness. Definite articles, college sports—look into them!) Anyway: We, along with many other normal Americans, have filled out “brackets” for this event of March, in which we will attempt to use our statistical analysis to win $20 in the office pool. We have submitted a bracket. The bracket is titled “I See You Made An Effort.” We might even turn on The Madness at some point in March and zone out to a game uncorrupted by corporate sponsorship and million-dollar contracts! It’s all about the purity of the game, people! How do you play basketball, again?
While we figure that out, see below for a full schedule of the NCAA games today. Because we’re taking this $20 pool very seriously. All that Madness means that many shows have moved off the night, except for those that appeal to people who don’t watch too much sports. Which means we’re still running a full night of coverage, obviously.
Community (NBC, 8 p.m.): The study group Save Greendale Committee puts together a game of Dungeons and Dragons to get Professor Hickey to bond with his son, played by David Cross. And here is a text message from Todd VanDerWerff: “Too much fangasm, pls send help”
Parks And Recreation (NBC, 8:30 p.m.): Galentine’s Day was like, a month ago, but Leslie is dealing with her “Ann moved away” feelings by throwing a celebration tonight. As we, too, have galentines, we expect to sob through this episode. Alasdair Wilkins is pouring some out for all the galentines tonight.
Vikings (History Channel, 10 p.m.): Did you know that in this season of Vikings, the titular vikings are, like, running around Britain? (Did you even know the vikings did that? Because we did not and we’re sort of impressed with their hardiness.) The What’s On Tonight team would not make very good vikings. Dennis Perkins, however, would make an excellent viking.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (11 a.m.): Zack Handlen’s Outer Space Fictional Space Station Support Group will meet at the usual time and place. All those who do not attend will be asked to participate in “voluntary” basketball training in sector A. Sector A has not had any issues with hard vacuum recently; why do you ask?
ELSEWHERE ON TV CLUB
TV Roundtable delves into the joys and trials of none other than RuPaul’s Drag Race—specifically, “Ru Ha Ha” in season three, which pits Delta Work and Manila Luzon against each other to lipsync for their lives. We just watched this episode, and that shit is harrowing; we’re not sure how Genevieve Koski, Zack Handlen, Todd VanDerWerff, and Carrie Raisler survived a season that had some of us over here at What’s On Tonight yelling on our couches.
Over in TV Reviews, Brandon Nowalk has the sich on Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule, which, he concludes, is “videotape triumph”; and as we keep forgetting to feature it in What’s On Tonight, maybe this will encourage you to forgive us our trespasses. Speaking of trespasses, Phil Dyess-Nugent has the season review of The Crazy Ones, that crazy little show starring crazy Robin Williams that is doing crazily well.
And in the wake of the Veronica Mars movie, Todd VanDerWerff makes a radical argument: Let our beloved television shows just die, already! So you know you have an opinion about that.
THE MADNESS, IT HAS A SCHEDULE
Several times are approximate, as games will air consecutively. Disclaimer: We have no idea what Wofford is, or truTV, or why there are so many games.
Ohio State vs. Dayton (CBS, 12:15 p.m.)
Wisconsin vs. American (truTV, 12:40 p.m.)
Colorado vs. Pittsburgh (TBS, 1:40 p.m.)
Cincinnati vs. Harvard (TNT, 2:10 p.m.)
Syracuse vs. Western Michigan (CBS, 2:45 p.m.)
Oregon vs. BYU (truTV, 3:10 p.m.)
Florida vs. Albany (TBS, 4:10 p.m.)
Michigan State vs. Delaware (TNT, 4:40 p.m.)
UConn vs. St. Joseph’s (TBS, 6:55 p.m.)
Michigan vs. Wofford (CBS, 7:10 p.m.)
St. Louis vs. N.C. State (TNT, 7:20 p.m.)
Oklahoma vs. North Dakota State (truTV, 7:27 p.m.)
Villanova vs. Milwaukee (TBS, 9:25 p.m.)
Texas vs. Arizona State (CBS, 9:40 p.m.)
Louisville vs. Manhattan (TNT, 9:50 p.m.)
San Diego State vs. New Mexico State (truTV, 9:57 p.m.)
SOME SHOWS WE COVERED THAT ARE ALSO ON TONIGHT THAT ARE NOT MADNESS AND INCLUDE STEVE BRULE
AND ALSO SOME MOVIES, OR WHATEVER
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (Oxygen, 8 p.m.): Widely considered to be Matthew McConaughey’s finest performance, the film at one point has him say the line: “Women of New York… frost yourselves.”
Sleepy Hollow (TMC, 9:40 p.m.): Johnny Depp stars as Ichabod Crane in this movie by Tim Burton (obviously) starring Christina Ricci as a limpid goth princess and Depp as her steampunk-emo hero.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Americans: Ha ha, this show is so heartbreaking it will break us into a tiny million pieces! Todd VanDerWerff and Genevieve Koski dissect last night’s “A Little Night Music.” Sondheim reference, natch!