Happy New Year, Charlie Brown/Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (ABC, 8 p.m.): Just as New Year’s must play second banana to Christmas, so must these renditions of “Auld Lang Syne” from the holiday season’s animated favorites languish on one of TV’s least-exciting nights of the year. It doesn’t help that a book report on War And Peace is a major plot point in the Peanuts special—at least Rudolph’s time-bending adventure had the decency to celebrate the holiday with the proper of amount of insanity.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Dads (FX, 6 p.m.): In case you’re wondering what not to watch, FX is mainlining Dads’ first season all night long—a phrase those who watch the marathon can imagine Martin Mull or Peter Riegert torturing into a punchline while Brenda Song seeks out the magical portal back to Scandal.
Nick News: Webstars II: More Kids Who Are Online Hits (Nickelodeon, 8 p.m.): A.k.a. “More kids who are more famous and more popular than you can ever hope to be and there’s nothing you can do about it, sorry.”
Independent Lens: How To Survive A Plague (PBS, 10 p.m.): An essential 2012 documentary on HIV/AIDS awareness group ACT UP gets truncated for digestible, feel-not-so-good holiday season viewing.
Breaking Bad (AMC, 11:44 p.m.): AMC’s Breaking Bad binge reaches “Ozymandias,” the climax of the series and the most tense TV telephone exchange since that one time an operator was rude to Dr. Hartley on The Bob Newhart Show.
Mystery Men (IFC, 8 p.m.): “Whatever happened to Kel from Kenan & Kel?” asked a recent feature from The Atlantic. But a simple re-watch of this superhero spoof explains it all—he’s just been invisible for the past 14 years!
Bikini Beach (TCM, 9:45 p.m.): If you’re reading this from anywhere north of 39th parallel, chances are you’re neck deep in snow. But it’s always summer with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello—and a rear-projection screen means you can drive your hot rod as fast as you want with no worries about black ice.
NHL Hockey: Los Angeles Kings at Blackhawks (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.): The last two Stanley Cup champions meet in Chicago in a rematch of last year’s Western Conference Finals—during which the Kings will quietly serenade Lord Stanley’s Cup with “I Want You Back” for all three periods.
BEST OF TV CLUB
Regular Show (November): Why aren’t you reading Alasdair Wilkins’ weekly Regular Show reviews? You know the series airs right after Adventure Time, right? And that Alasdair continues to find layers of the show to peel back, even when it features an antagonist whose head is a basketball backboard? You should be reading these reviews—all of them, as soon as possible.