Are you dissatisfied with the cards life dealt you? Sick of feeling like you have no control? Stuck at the bottom while so many enjoy the their time on top? There has to be a better way!

Well, friends, we’re here to tell you there is—but it sure as hell isn’t Founders American Merchandise, the pyramid scheme multi-level marketing strategy devised by tycoon Obie Garbeau II (Ted Levine) in Showtime’s upcoming dramedy On Becoming A God In Central Florida. Though FAM may not be able to offer the escape from drudgery that Garbeau so purply promises above, On Becoming A God does allow viewers to flee their everyday existences and “jay-oh-bee”s for a different sort of promised land: The 1990s. Revel in the tacky stock footage, tracking lines, and chintzy soundtrack of this FAM faux-infomercial! Prepare yourself for the latest entry in Kirsten Dunst’s growing catalog of steely protagonists, as you pretend this video is airing between promos for Pure Moods and Wacky Favorites during Cartoon Network’s early ’90s Super Adventures block! Marvel at Alexander Skarsgård ditching his cubicle-bound existence by donning a mullet and tuxedo tails for the most delirious sequence you’ll see on TV in 2019!

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The first two episodes of On Becoming A God In Central Florida—which our own Danette Chavez calls “a riveting black comedy with hairpin turns in tone”—are currently streaming on YouTube, and the show begins its Showtime run this Sunday, August 25 at 10 p.m. Don’t delay—call today! (Seriously, that’s an active toll-free number flashing throughout the video.)