Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, November 24. All times are Eastern.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade/National Dog Show/Miracle On 34th Street (NBC, 9 a.m.):
We all know that NBC can’t do anything right, but they still know how to program Thanksgiving Day, dammit. Starting at 9 a.m., the network’s got the parade to end all parades (complete with the most adorable floating advertising mascots you’ll ever see), followed by cute dogs running around and being cute, followed by one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made. We’re mostly taking the day off, but you can bet we’ll be watching this bullshit. It’s un-American not to!


Arrested Development (IFC, 6 a.m.):
Get up early and get a good start this morning with the best comedy of the past decade, airing over 12 straight hours. If you’re looking for a marathon to watch today, we’d say this is the one.

The Andy Griffith Show (TV Land, 8 a.m.): Or maybe your comedy marathon tastes run slightly more traditional? If that’s the case, then you’ve got one of the greatest sitcoms of the ‘60s to check out. If you’ve never hung out with Andy, Opie, and Barney, consider this a perfect opportunity.


Star Trek: The Next Generation (BBC America, 8 a.m.): Zack Handlen’s classic reviews of this show are taking the day off, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend nearly 24 hours (seriously, this marathon ends at 5 a.m. Friday) hanging out with Capt. Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Bomb Patrol: Afghanistan (G4, 1 p.m.): Or maybe you haven’t seen any episodes of this excellent documentary series and would like the chance to catch up. Well, G4’s airing the whole thing in the afternoon and into the night. It’s well worth a watch.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC, 8 p.m.): Isn’t this kind of the red-headed stepchild of the Charlie Brown specials? Christmas and Halloween get all the attention among the Peanuts special fans, and this low-key, charming special often gets ignored. It didn’t even air there for several years!


Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (Fox, 8 p.m.): This one just strikes us as odd. Why on Earth would prehistoric creatures be celebrating Christmas? Why would Santa be delivering gifts to mammoths? What the hell is going on? Todd VanDerWerff reviews it so you have something to comment on.

Punkin Chunkin (Discovery, 8 p.m.): We can’t be bought here at TV  Club, but we’re happy to admit that Discovery Channel sent us a delicious pumpkin pie to promote this special, and it was enough to get it a mention here. If you’re looking for catapulting pumpkin action tonight, look no further.

A Very Gaga Thanksgiving (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): Somewhere, deep inside of ABC, there’s an executive who said, “Hey, you know who needs a Thanksgiving special? Lady Gaga.” And we can only hope that executive has been compensated handsomely. Because he was right.


James Bond marathon (SyFy, 8 a.m.): SyFy’s spending the whole day—right into tomorrow morning—showing James Bond movies, and if you’re looking for something to bridge the gap between generations and you don’t have Monopoly on hand, well, what better?

The Godfather/The Godfather, Part II (AMC, 11:30 a.m.): Here’s AMC with another American classic all interrupted by commercials and shit. Still, if you haven’t seen The Godfather and its sequel, well, we’re just not sure we can be friends anymore. And that’s all your fault.

NFL Football: Packers at Lions/Dolphins at Cowboys (Fox/CBS, 12:30/4 p.m.): The former game looks to be one of the big games of the week, featuring the last undefeated team and the high-scoring (no, we’re not joking) Lions. The latter game… does not look to be one of the big games of the week.


American Horror Story (Wednesday):
Everybody found out who the Rubber Man was, and Todd VanDerWerff offered definitive proof that he’s finally lost his mind. After all the family togetherness, watch a man let go of the last remaining shreds of his sanity. For the kids.