Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Sunday, March 3. All times are Eastern.
Enlightened (HBO, 9:30 p.m.): Look, there are some bad people out there, okay—bad people who wouldn’t bat an eye at the thought of wiping a small, special show like Enlightened off the TV landscape. Will you stand idle and just them take the series from us? No! Especially not when its lead character is so close to affecting actual change. Do your part and watch the finale. (Brandon Nowalk will distribute pamphlets to those interested in learning more about Enlightened.)
The Simpsons (Fox, 8 p.m.): Robert David Sullivan enters the squared circle to contend with another addition to The Simpsons’ family history, as we learn Grampa was once a feared competitor in the pro-wrestling world. He certainly showed that cloud what for!
Once Upon A Time (ABC, 8 p.m.): Apparently trying coast on the Morrissey fumes that powered Duck Dynasty to an all-time high this week, OUAT tries its hand at an episode entitled “The Queen Is Dead.” Oliver Sava looks forward to the introduction of a new character, The Vicar In A Tutu.
Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): The glorious, long-promised future where toilets speak in the rich, velvety tones of Jon Hamm has finally arrived. As Rowan Kaiser can tell you, a toilet isn’t just a toilet, it’s a display case for a person’s insides, the various fuels and humors roiling around until what’s necessary is absorbed into our very souls and what’s unnecessary is shat out into a glorious porcelain frame…
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9 p.m.): Rick seeks to build an arsenal that could take down the Governor’s forces. Perhaps this is a convenient time for Zack Handlen to explain his blueprints for the zombie cannon, a weapon that fires nature’s most dangerous, insatiable weapon—provided they don’t fall to pieces during flight.
The Good Wife (CBS, 9 p.m.): Legions of Good Wife fans rejoice at a TV Guide synopsis whose first word is “Elsbeth.” Elsbeth: Say it loud and there’s music playing; say it soft and it’s almost like all of David Sims’ Good Wife-related prayers are coming true.
Girls (HBO, 9 p.m.): Hey Hannah, have you finished that book yet? How’s that book coming along? Heyheyheyheyhey: How much of the book have you written? (Todd VanDerWerff’s just glad to write about a character who’s experiencing the same type of needling anxiety he feels when approaching his Girls review every week.)
Shameless (Showtime, 9 p.m.): All we know about this episode is that it’s called “A Long Way From Home,” so we can only jump to the conclusion that the Gallaghers have discovered a tessaract that transported them across time and space right into the heart of battle with a world-swallowing evil. Joshua Alston jumps to the conclusion that we just started reading the graphic novel version of A Wrinkle In Time—and he’s correct!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Farscape (11 a.m.): Speaking of inadvertent interstellar travel: Alasdair Wilkins joins the TV Club Classic fold, writing from the belly of the living spacecraft Moya. Don’t worry: It only gets weirder from there.
The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): Nathan Rabin was about to turn in his piece on “Lisa Vs. Malibu Stacy,” but then he got distracted by the release of a Talking Malibu Stacy with a new hat. We were like “Hey, deadlines!” and all he could say was “But she’s got a new hat!”
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
The Bible (History, 8 p.m.): With Game Of Thrones set to return at the end of the month, History capitalizes on Westeros fever with this epic adaptation of a series of books rife with confounding lineages, larger-than-life heroes, and at least one king who’s a total dick. But are there any dragons? Dennis Perkins will grade slightly harsher if there aren’t any dragons.
The Apprentice (NBC, 9 p.m.): The promos for this new season would like to sell you on Gary Busey’s return to the boardroom, but we’d be remiss to point out that Dennis Rodman, Dee Snider, and La Toya Jackson are just as likely to crazy up the place in this all-star season. (Too bad they couldn’t get that North Korean robot version of “The Worm” that just returned Pyongyang.)
Red Widow (ABC, 9 p.m.): Not “Red Window,” which is how we originally read the title. “What does a window have to do with a woman being reluctantly pulled into San Francisco’s criminal underworld?” Zack Handlen did not think, because of his superior reading comprehension skills.
Vikings (History, 10 p.m.): Todd VanDerWerff does not expect historical accuracy from History’s second big première of the night—instead, he expects extreme Nordic violence, because his blood lust in insatiable.
Tangled (Disney Channel, 8 p.m.): Disney’s past, present, and future collided agreeably in this hybrid of computer animation and traditional technique; it’s also the only telling of Rapunzel featuring the voices of Paul F. Tompkins, Jeffrey Tambor, and John DiMaggio.
Annie Hall (TCM, 8 p.m.): Do we love Woody Allen’s classic comic meditation on romance and relationships? No, “love” is too weak a word—we’d make up a bunch of new verbs to sum up our emotions, but we’re no Woody Allen.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Saturday Night Live: The traditional format of David Sims’ SNL reviews omit thoughts on the musical guests, but we really want to know what David thought about “Thrift Shop.” We also want to know if this episode ended up revealing Macklemore to be a creation of the SNL writing staff.