Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, June 24. All times are Eastern.
Mr. Robot (USA, 10 p.m): Showing at least a little more knowledge about technology than CSI: Cyber, Mr. Robot’s pilot episode is titled “eps1.0_hellofriend.mov.” However, showing absolute insanity, this is the episode synopsis: “anti-social cybersecurity tech elliot (Rami Malek) meets mr. robot leader of hacker group fsociety. evil corp - biggest co. in the world - is hacked. is robot behind it? brb.” Even with that… whatever that was, promos for this new USA series inspire a lot more confidence than those for Complications, Dig, or what ever other new gritty procedural USA has in the tank. But in those other USA shows’ defense, even this inspires a lot more confidence:
Deutschland 83 (Sundance, 11 p.m.): “Martin is ordered to break into the hotel room of a high-ranking NATO official and steal a top-secret report.” If Martin is the not “Brave Guy” in the episode title, then Deutschland 83 is kind of a jerk. Brandon Nowalk (or “Bizzle,” as he likes to be called) has his list of “TV Shows That Are Jerks” ready.
WWE NXT (WWE Network, 8 p.m.)
Do you like sperm? Of course you do, you’re not a monster. The latest Inventory piece is called “The jizz stays in the picture,” and that’s really all you need to know before you read it.
Also, keeping it in the Mr. Robot family, come back to TV Club at 11 a.m. for Dennis Perkins’ pre-air review of the series. It has 100 per cent less Styx references than this What’s On Tonight, if that helps.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 6 p.m.): In “Lunch Break,” “Mordecai and Rigby want to finish a 10-foot sub.” Can they do it? What if they can’t? Will there be leftovers? For the love of God, won’t someone think of the leftovers?!? This is what happens when you get a week of new episodes—it really makes you think. And hungry. It really make you both think and hungry.
Melissa & Joey (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): In this week’s latest Melissa & Joey misunderstanding, “Joe’s new job might cause Mel to lose hers.” Joe’s new job on Wake Up Toledo! (which one can infer is a morning show) is one with “crazy hours” (which one can infer are… in the morning), and that forces him to “down a bunch of energy drinks to stay awake for a meeting Mel has” with a backer who might finance her run for Congress. Yada yada yada, the backer thinks Joe is on drugs, yada yada yada, all because a grown man can’t function properly in the 21st century.
Big Brother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Do you like The Real World but don’t think it’s racist, insular, or voyeuristic enough? Well, Big Brother is back, and it won’t let you down like the stupid Real World. Hey, do you ever think about how funny it is that there are now 17 seasons of a show based on a villainous concept from George Orwell’s 1984, and apparently no contestant or viewer ever took issue with that?
Rev. Run’s Sunday Suppers (Cooking, 8 p.m.): We know this is the second season finale, but we just need to know: Why are Rev. Run’s Sunday Suppers airing on a Wednesday? Remember when Friday Night Lights wasn’t on Fridays (and then it finally was)? This is that level of scheduling tomfoolery.
MasterChef (Fox, 8 p.m): With “Bring Home The Bacon,” MasterChef continues to make anyone who reads its episode titles hungry. Mmm, bacon.
Baby Daddy (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.): Jackée Harry guest stars. You know whether you’re in or out.
The Briefcase (CBS, 9 p.m.): Abruptly changing a time slot for a show always works out tremendously, which is more than we can say for the status of the families in this week’s episode. The Owens and the Aponte-Kassimatis (what a name) families are the latest ones to be exploited, as the Owens “discover secrets about each other’s finances” and the Aponte-Kassimatis (still a great name) family finds itself “in danger of losing the home they need to restore for a second time.” Just give them all money, CBS. Or at least pay for Robert and Lucy Owens’ divorce.
Bullseye (Fox, 9 p.m): Did someone say “Defying Gravity”?
Suits (USA, 9 p.m.): Hey, everybody! Suits is back! Five seasons, Suit-Sayers! Tonight, “Harvey has difficulty to adjusting to changes around the office,” but we’re pretty sure he’ll be able to cope with it all through the power of popular movie references (that he believes are too obscure for anyone to get).
Duck Dynasty (A&E, 9:30 p.m.): Duck Dynasty is back.
Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 10 p.m): Vince Neil. Gunnar Nelson. “Celebrity.”
You, Me And Dupree (HBO Zone, 7:05 p.m.): The best thing about this movie is the re-cut thriller trailer. Watch that for 109 minutes.
The Lego Movie (HBO Family, 8:45 p.m.): We’re not sure if you heard, but The Lego Movie is pretty good. We know very few people have talked about it, but just take our word for it.
MLB Baseball: Cardinals at Marlins (FSN, 7 p.m.)
NHL Awards: From Las Vegas (NBC Sports, 7 p.m.)
College World Series: Finals Game 3: Virginia vs. Vanderbilt (ESPN 8 p.m.)
MLB Baseball: Dodgers at Cubs (ESPN2, 8 p.m.)
MLS Soccer: Los Angeles vs. Portland (ESPN2, 11 p.m.)
Ring Of Honor (Destination America, 8 p.m.)
Lucha Underground (El Rey, 8 p.m.)
Impact Wrestling (Destination America, 9 p.m.)
Orange Is The New Black (Netflix): It’s just like Myles McNutt always says: “Trust No Bitch.” He’s very crass, you see.