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Delocated: “Jon Done Gone Nuts”

Illustration for article titled iDelocated/i: “Jon Done Gone Nuts”
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Tonally, season three of Delocated has been all over the place. There was an episode focused on the absurdity of Jon wanting a potato-skin bar in his sweet loft. There were plenty of sobering moments, like Jon getting rejected by Susan, or the time Jon rode around in a limo having been stood up by his fake granddaughter. Then there was tonight’s episode, ending with an awesome homage to Goodfellas and, ultimately, Jon creaming his prison suit. Such is Delocated, a show that overcame (no pun intended) a rocky second season—growing pains from expanding the show’s running time—and is consistently wowing me with the sitcom liberties it’s been taking.

“Jon Done Gone Nuts” is a sprint to the finish line, a chance for Jon Glaser to use up a bunch of ridiculous gags he’s probably had floating around his head for some time so that when the finale comes next week, its plot-heavy nature doesn’t get derailed. The episode starts with Jon waking up after a bender, wearing a half-shirt—we’re off to a good start. TB and The Glaze are waiting for him in the living room, and The Glaze is eating an entire plateful of bacon. Whatever the opposite of “strike two” is, it’s this.


Jon learns from both that he went out and partied hard last night at PJ McTouchdown’s with Eun Mi. There, he ran into a film crew for Ladies Done Gone Nuts, which is essentially Girls Gone Wild. Eun Mi, always the exhibitionist, dares Jon to lift his shirt, and says she’ll do the same if he does. So he gets the attention of the entire bar, lifts up his ski mask, and now his face is captured on film for all sorts of desperate, lonely men watching Comedy Central at 2 a.m. to see. Jim Daniels, the CEO of Ladies Done Gone Nuts, won’t destroy the footage, either. Apparently that mezuzah on his door doesn’t have any effect on the man’s sympathy.

As usual, Jon has thrown fire on the impending gang war without realizing it. He’s still under the protection of the Wang Cho boys, so he goes to them first and demands they help recover that tape. Later, at the FBI headquarters, Jon is sat down and shown a video made by Daniels—he wills Jon his $10 million empire, then kills himself. Jon mistakes the gesture as an example of how persuasive he can be, even though all he could muster was a tenuous, “Not cool, dude.” If he could have this effect on one guy, imagine who else he could rock with his words.

Eun Mi is less impressed. She chastises Jon for running to his hired help with his tail between his legs. If he wants to be with her, she says, he has to grow some big balls and finally face the Mirminsky family without those Wang Chos. At that moment, her hamster Scamper runs up in his little hamster ball. Jon has an idea. Big balls… big balls…

Cut to the party celebrating the release of “Knock Knock Who’s There Vodka,” with the entire Mirminsky clan in attendance. Jon enters, inside a giant hamster ball made of bulletproof glass, ready to drop one of his trademark “Not cool, dude”s on Sergei. The ball also gets used later that night, when Eun Mi comes over to find Jon inside a hot tub (it’s a miracle he hasn’t passed out) looking to get some ball tush—even if it’s just “curiosity sex.” It’s an outlandish premise, having Jon roll around in a hamster ball like a crazy person, but Jon’s an outlandish guy with just enough cockiness to pull it off.


One of the best things Delocated could have done in its third season was give Jon piles and piles of money. Jon has always had some money coming in, but the massive quantities of cash influx means the show can really ratchet up the Willy Wonka factor of his whims. I mean, if he wants to visit the Wang Cho headquarters while eating a bag of chips, he can somehow transport himself there and get the chips—and only the chips—inside. At the same time, Jon is far less important on an episode-by-episode basis than he ever was in season two. You’ve got this eccentric millionaire, but barely show him? That takes some major confidence. Balls. Big balls.

Delocated is as solid as it can be. Even though “Jon Done Gone Wild” wasn’t my favorite episode ever, it’s full of all the little moments I’ve come to love and expect from this show: Trish’s excited look when the FBI guy busts down Yvgeny’s bedroom door. Mishka adding “in bed” to the really ominous fortune, then later saying he won’t wear a wire because he’d prefer a shirt to cover that wire. The FBI term for busting two families at once, a “simultaneous orgasm.” Jon’s vinegar strokes (to quote The League) upon seeing Eun Mi’s tits. These are the indicators of a show on fire.


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