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America's Next Top Model: "The Girls Go On Go-See Adventures"

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Illustration for article titled America's Next Top Model: "The Girls Go On Go-See Adventures"

After watching tonight's ANTM I am left with only one question: Who is everyone going to vote for as next week's Cover Girl Of The Week?!? (I'm guessing the 20 regular voters will rally behind Saleisha and her endless excited clapping, even though I'm pretty sure she's trying to kill us with enthusiasm.)

So, did anyone see Asperger Heather's elimination coming? (By the way, if you say yes, you're lying.) I mean, after seeing Heather slouching around the streets of Shanghai, losing her translator, and unable to make eye contact during the go-sees, we knew she was going to be in the bottom two. But did anyone really think they were going to eliminate the girl with Asperger's? What has this season been about except for Heather? Her disability was the (much-needed)gimmick this go-round. Tyra can call this the green cycle or the futuristic cycle all she wants, but it was the Asperger's cycle . Unless Tyra discovers a blind model, or Siamese twin models who are joined at the head, or she decides to do an all-plus-size cycle she will never top Heather.

But Heather's elimination was an unexpected twist also because of the episode's focus on Jenah. As everyone knows, the rule of ANTM is that when a contestant who has been firmly attached to the background is suddenly shifted front-and-center, that person is probably going home (addendum to this rule: especially when she's up against the girl with Asperger's who is easily the judges' favorite).

Right from the start, when Jenah decided to state the obvious ("It's not about modeling anymore. It's a personality competition now." What show did she think she was on?) this episode seemed like a surefire Jenah elimination. I mean, had Jenah ever said more than one sentence in an episode before? When she said, "I'm laid-back. I have a sarcastic personality," did you think to yourself, "You have a personality, Jenah?" Of course. The only evidence of Jenah's laid-back sarcasm was possibly a scowl here and there, and the way she used to show up at judges' panel without running a comb through her extentions. Now, we find out she's dry, droll, slightly mean, quick to roll her eyes, and the best part? She hates Saleisha's tendency to yip yip yip like an over-excited dog, and she mocks Nigel right to his face. In other words: she's my new favorite.

I thought that when Jenah showed an actual sense of humor at the photo shoot, that she was all but eliminated—especially because the jokes were made at the expense of Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker, who takes himself more seriously than Werner Herzog, Henry VIII, and the entire Secret Service combined. After all, as we learned with Mila, everything on ANTM, no matter how incredibly ridiculous, must be taken seriously at all times. (The only permissible jokes are Ms. Jay's growing afro, and anything that Tyra laughs at.) I think even Jenah was surprised that Heather was eliminated over her: she gasped when Tyra turned over her photo (unless that was sarcasm).

Grade: A-

Stray Observations:

—Heather's complete inability to find anything aside, the go-sees weren't as fun as usual this cycle. No one made any huge cultural faux-pas, and no one (besides Heather) got hopelessly lost. Still, Saleshia refusing to tell Bianca that the two designers were in the same building was pretty good.

—Oh, also there was this, "The map's in Chinese, so it's all Greek to me." I'm going to miss Heather. No one else could deliver that line with such sincerity.

—Bianca's prize was a barge billboard? Way to go, Bankable Productions!

—Saleisha's enthusiasm is positively deafening: "Oh my God! This must be the week where Nigel shoots us!!!" You see him every week, Saleisha. Calm down. All those months at Top Model camp really helped with the brainwashing.

—The final three has to be Jenah, Saleisha, and Bianca. I think Chantal's brain will probably shut down before the next panel.

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