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American Idol: Results Show

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I was never the biggest Fantasia fan, but she pretty much thrilled me tonight on

Idol. It wasn't her singing, specifically, that delighted me, but it was what she brought to the stage that has been completely lacking all season: swagger. Compare how she moved around onstage, working her thick ass in that tight jumpsuit and singing her lungs out, to Syesha's bland stage presence during her final performance. And this may be personal taste but I prefer funky Fantasia with her unreal red hair, braces and rough voice to Syesha's cool, calculated, stage-ready perfection. I was complaining last night about this season and what it's lacking, and what it was lacking was anything close to resembling Fantasia. Simon's mouth was agape during her performance and I couldn't tell if it was due to horror or delight, but I'm hoping that he at least had fun, because I did for like the third time all season. So the bottom two are David A and David C, which isn't really that huge a surprise. But here's what happened between the beginning of the show and the not-so-big reveal: -"Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now" was the group number, a song which suited none of the singers although for a brief moment I could see David Archuleta finding a decent niche for himself as a blue-eyed soul singer, but I doubt he'll pursue that. -The concept of the Ford commercial involved the contestants going to a fortune teller to see their rich and successful future selves. David Cook spied himself enjoying a collection of Fords, which must have made him wonder why he couldn't have just traded all those in for one really nice car. (For the record, I get to ride shotgun in a 2001 Kia Rio. It's red.) -The singers all went back to their home towns to shoot pretty much identical packages: they all showed up on a local FOX morning show, cried when they saw how many people showed up, and went to their old schools. Syesha cried the hardest. David C. surprised his old music teacher, which was sweet. And David Archuleta, in between exclaiming "gosh!" actually said something funny when he wondered where everyone in the huge crowd that turned out to greet him had parked. He, by the way, is currently the Elvis of Utah. -Remember how Syesha's dad is a former drug addict? Way back from the audition episodes? Well, that got trotted back out again. She provides him a "natural high." I don't know where he's going to get his fix after tonight. -David Cook's brother was in the show a lot tonight for some reason and I believe I prefer the lesser-known Cook. So, David vs. David is what we'll see next week, which Simon predicted will be a "humdinger", one of those words with more than two syllables that Ryan and Paula reacted to as if Simon had just made it up. I can't lie: the cuteness of David A. got to me a little more tonight so I'm rooting for him a little more strongly. I won't even try to dignify it or justify it more than that he's a little cutie. And he kissed a dolphin! Grade: B+ Stray observations: —Classy of Ryan to mention Paula's tits within the first two minutes of the show. Classier still of Simon to show off his in solidarity. —David A. had to be feigning surprise when it was announced that he'd be in the top two: the kid was never even in the bottom three, no?

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