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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: Results Show..

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Kristy Lee Cook needs to cease all attempts at being personable, because each week she becomes less bland and more insane. Yeah, we expect you'll go home soon too, but your bitter attitude come results time does not translate well at all. I'm still not sure what her post-it note saying "Kristy's Seat" was supposed to be. A joke? A prediction? I didn't get it and neither did the audience. But apparently somebody still loves this chick enough to keep voting her through. Then again, Kristy's weirdness is more entertaining to me than Brooke's earth mother schtick. I'm sure there's a violinist somewhere rolling his eyes, drinking from his jug marked "XXX" and sarcastically saying "Thanks a lot" after she extracted an apology to him from Simon. And I guess she just cares a lot more about, you know,

stuff than I do since I managed to keep my eyes dry during the Idol Gives Back montage and Dolly Parton performance. Sad frowny face. Pout. And inevitably the girl with the least annoying personality of the three, Ramiele, is sent home. Some things that happened that you probably skipped over if you have Tivo: -The Clark Brothers played, the winner of FOX's The Next Great American Band. They had looks, mandolins. -Bucky Covington, Phil Stacey and Bo Bice all still live and sing, in Nashville. They all look exactly the same. -Simon basically reiterated to Carly that she dresses like the Mayor of Frumpville, but clarified that she is cute and he likes her. Randy oh-so-cuttingly threw in "But this is a competition about fashion, not singing, right Ryan?" Shut up, Randy. -Your money to Idol Gives Back helped a girl find her sister in Addis Ababa. And then there was Dolly, who got the inevitable wink from Simon after being her awesome self. I try not to pick on Ryan too much when it comes to the sexual identity moments (note that I didn't mention him noting the style of Kristy's pedicure last night), but could it have been more awkward when he greeted Dolly's "Hello there handsome!" with "Hello beautiful…or should I say hot?" Anyway, thanks to Brooke and Kristy's personalities, Carly and Syesha are now my favorite girls on the show. All Syesha needs to do is refrain from showing off her sexy infant impression and she's a star to me. Grade: B- Stray observations: —David Archuleta sang uptempo everyone! Yay! I wonder if he thought "9 to 5" had a great message. —Speaking of David A., David Cook apologized to Michael and Jason, his roommates, for his slovenliness. So with whom does David live? —If I were Michael Johns I would have been especially embarrassed to be in tonight's Ford commercial. Partially because he is an athlete and partially because there is an age limit for gracefully acting out b-ball court fantasies. —Was Michael wearing a Dolly Parton shirt? And if so, where can I get one?

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