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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: Results Show.

Illustration for article titled American Idol: Results Show.
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Why does

Idol tend to have that one contestant who obviously should go home but is safe week after week? Last season it was Sanjaya, before that, John Stevens. Kristy Lee Cook is by no means as poor a singer or as weird a human as Sanjaya, but several singers have gone home in her stead who shouldn't have, and now Chikezie is one of them. It wasn't a major upset or anything though. We all knew Kristy would stay with her Lee-Greenwood-approved song, and while Chikezie could be a powerful and entertaining performer, his encore was a real snooze which didn't make it too hard to see him go. Kristy Lee has a few more weeks that she can squeak by in (I can see her lasting longer than Syesha and Ramiele) but after that it's going to start getting a little ridiculous. I actually thought Ramiele was going to be in the bottom three this week but I need to give her fan base some more credit. Jason Castro however joined Syesha and Chikezie and he actually seemed a little chagrined, babbling about how he knew he would be in the bottom three before Ryan cut him off and told him he was safe. Maybe this will shock the kid into trying a little harder next week. In case you were smart and fast-forwarded to the end, here is what else you missed: -The opening group performance is still idiotic. Now that Amanda isn't around to screw everything up with her attitude, everyone got to dance joyously to "Get Right Back." It still sounds weird and looks awkward. I don't know how the show could update this portion of the show but they really have to. When you watch the ensemble numbers for shows like So You Think You Can Dance, they're fun and fresh. Not so much here. -The Ford commercial looked somehow worse than the previous ones but "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick at least wasn't a completely ridiculous song choice. -David Cook's rendition of "Billie Jean" was officially Chris Cornell-endorsed. -DOLLY PARTON WILL BE APPEARING NEXT WEEK!! -David A. sounded terrified trying to convince everyone that he did in fact choose that song himself. -Asked during the Q&A; call-in period which contemporary singer Brooke would most like to duet with, she said John Mayer. Did that lessen any crushes out there in comment-land? -Idol is on Itunes. You can hear the full version of each song on Itunes. You can listen to music on Itunes with an Ipod. Itunes. Idol. Ipod. Itunes. Idol. Ipod. Got it? -Kimberley Locke looked beautiful and sounded great even though her songs all fall squarely in Adult Contemporary. She apparently has no love for Simon though. Foolish girl. -Idol Gives Back is April 9. A girl cried. Paula hugged her. Grade: C Stray observations: —I thought the judges' calling Brooke a "politician" after she hedged on what sounded better, "Every Breath You Take" with or without a band. Because she is a bit like a politician to me: she seems like she never wants to alienate anyone, wants to seem like she's an everygirl, and probably is coked up and having sex with everyone. —For those of you who were wondering why Carly looked so thin last night, she was wearing what every girl on the planet, including Nicole Richie, has three pairs of in her drawer: Spanx. Now is the time to invest! We can save the market, one tummy toner at a time!

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