Let's just quickly categorize the night:
Okay but not great:
- David Cook's version of "Jumpin' Jack Liked." I mean, "Jumpin' Jack Flash." We know he can sing and play but something about the arrangement made it sound exactly like "Born to Be Wild."
- Orianthi. Never heard of her prior to tonight's episode. She's a rocker chick who plays a mean electric guitar and has a rather generic single. I just learned via Wikipedia that she's played with Prince and was Michael Jackson's guitarist for This is It which is way more interesting information than Ryan's onstage banter with her.
Not as bad as it could have been:
- The Ford commercial/video. The kids drove around and threw paintballs at each other’s cars, thereby decorating them. We've seen a theme on this before but it wasn't as embarrassingly cheesy and low budget looking as some of the commercials looked last season. Please keep in mind that I am measuring this against prior Idol Ford videos only and not against actual commercials or videos.
- The elimination. Kara told Andrew and Tim in so many words that they both were bad last night but Lacey was the one sent home. If we were eliminating contestants based on performances and talent, then Lacey didn't deserve to go home tonight but I don't think she was going to be in the top 3 or even 5 and not worth the save (her version of "The Story" tonight was much weaker than when she sang it previously.) Tim is the Vote for the Worst guy, which is going to get annoying really quickly, like, right now.
- David Cook's hair. It was like a combed-version of the mullet: extremely careful in the front and wild and crazy in the back. It looked pasted on his head, like a ventriloquist's dummy. I like Cook OK but I would respect him a lot more if he just let his impending baldness take its natural course.
- The custom graphics plug for Ford. That's enough, Ford.
- Kesha, who definitely did not earn her dollar sign from me tonight. What the hell. I think I am very indulgent when it comes to mindless pop music, I mean I'll even take "Tik Tok" just because it's so addictive, but at least that song featured her voice being Auto-Tuned into a melody at times. With "Blah Blah Blah" she was just talking in her annoying bratty-Valley-girl voice the entire time. This may be the nadir of Idol performances when it comes to guests who don't actually sing. I remember being mad that Jamie Foxx was performing with Auto-Tune but at least I know he can actually sing. The face paint, headdress, and dancing TV-head people just annoyed me further, like, way to make the Black Eyed Peas look like visionaries with the stage antics.
- No group number!
—Ellen got in a good joke after Kara suggested that Katie do R&B, Simon opined she go country and Randy offered pop. "I think you should do mariachi," said E.
—I actually agreed with Ryan that Mike sounded like a politician when he said, "I'm here for the people." Don't be like that, Michael, because I want to like you, but please don't act like you're doing us all a favor by being there.
—Simon called Ryan out for being aggressive last night but I wasn't sure what he meant about the "eyeballing," do you? Is it like a combination of teabagging meets eye-raping?