My excitement for Hollywood week is tempered by my irritation with one of the most half-assed leftover shows I've ever seen. Mysteriously labeled as the "last stop" on the audition tour, the American Idol producers simply offered up an hour of auditions that were neither good nor bad enough to be featured in the regular tryout episodes. Even the sad personal stories were mediocre. One girl couldn't even admit that her family was poor: they were merely "lower than lower middle class."

Also, there was a set of twins that looked like they tag-team date-raped girls.

I knew this episode was crap when the judges sent a contestant to learn a Dolly Parton song and I was more entertained by the Youtube clip of Dolly singing than any other part of the show. Yes, it was even more delightful than the extra footage of Simon sweeping up confetti. Even more fun than the montage of him mispronouncing names.

But then we capped it all off with another montage, of the stuff we just watched over the last few weeks.

Thank God Hollywood week starts on Tuesday. My expectations have been lowered dramatically thanks to this excruciatingly drawn-out audition process (was it longer than usual or is it just me?), but we've been promised changes and improvements, like the inclusion of musical instruments. I'm hoping that a wicked drum solo plus a hot vocal will be just the thing to warm my ice-cold heart.

Grade: D

Stray observations

—This episode was so meh that I have no stray observations.