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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: "Auditions #5"

Illustration for article titled iAmerican Idol/i: Auditions #5
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Austin auditions were just all right with me, dawg. There wasn’t anything really wrong with the episode, but I didn’t connect with half of our featured success stories because either something about them rubbed me the wrong way or I didn’t think their singing was so great. For instance, Corey Levoy, the guy who was estranged from his sister for over half his life, seemed very sweet, but his singing voice was just too high for my taste, and he sounded a little sharp to my ears.  Holly Cavanagh, too, seemed perfectly fine, but despite her nervous tears, I didn’t think she deserved a second chance, and I didn’t think her second go-around merited a golden ticket, even if she was singing "The Climb" and the words were all meaningful and whatnot.

Courtney Penry (the girl who allegedly loves Ryan Seacrest so much), meanwhile, was way too drama club for me. She was an OK singer, but I prefer an auditioner who, if she can’t act quasi-professional, at least seems genuine, and Courtney just seemed way too attention-whorey for me, with the chicken impression and buttering up all the judges and her alternate facial expressions of looking like she was going to cry, sneeze, poop, or fall asleep.


And maybe it’s just me being completely cynical, but I got the impression that Jacqueline Dunford and Nick Fink are maybe more just good friends than an actual couple? If you know what I mean? And again, they were fine singers, but the fact that something seemed off about them made me not such big fans of theirs.

Who did I like? I liked John Wayne Schulz, the cute Paul Rudd-looking cowboy pretty well, maybe because I saw footage of him feeding an adorable baby calf with a bottle. Even though his shirt was lime green, and I associate “John Wayne” with serial killers and the de-cocked, I was happy he got through, even if I’m not a big country girl. (Although I would like to know, if his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007 and he promised to audition for Idol per her wishes, why did it take him so long to try out? It probably has something to do with the fact that he released a multiple-Grammy-nominated album when he was around 14, maybe? Funny how the show didn’t mention that.) (Or maybe he didn't? Still, what sounds like a fairly prominent professional career as a creepy singing kid. No good! ed.)


Also, even though her segment wasn’t that long, I thought Janelle Arthur, the wholesome-looking blonde, had the best audition of the episode. She was one of the few people to audition this season who sang out loud and strong, clearly had a good ear, and didn’t go all whispery or up high in the nasal cavity and whatnot.

So where does Casey Abrams fall in this group of characters? I did like his melodica, and he seemed kind of funny, and he can obviously sing, but well, in addition to sounding like he was trying to sing like Ray Charles, he scatted, and I’m afraid that’s points off for me. My husband considers scatting the lowest art form there, is and I think his prejudices have rubbed off on me, so if Casey makes it through, he’s going to have to drop the wap bopedy doo bap skiddly-boop ske-dah like whoah.


(In case you couldn’t tell by the brevity of this writeup, the show tonight was only an hour, which is great for those of us who have had blizzard-brain for the last 36 hours).

Tomorrow, auditions in Los Angeles!

Stray observations:

  • I’m glad that the person holding the “Husband Deployed in 12 Days!” sign didn’t make it into the audition room.
  • On Jennifer-Watch, I thought her eye makeup was too dark on day one, and, despite Steven’s appreciation, I didn’t like the tight-tight bun on day two. But she is still very pretty.
  • Idol is getting so edgy—tonight they alluded to the existence of the f-word!

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