Meh, Dallas auditions. I admit I am distracted a bit tonight by the SOTU address but I think even without that we could all agree there wasn't too much going on there other than those cheerleaders. Shake it, madam. Capital knockers!
The first day, we saw the chick who sang "Lady Marmalade" from first season. She still sucks, but I daresay not as bad as sue used to. I did laugh though when both guest judge Neil Patrick Harris and Simon were more interested in her handiwork on her pathetic sign than her vocals.
Neil was a bit bitchier than I had some reason expected although unlike some of the other guest judges he definitely has props as a performer and singer. But he was the meanest one about Lady Marmalade lady, saying about her refusal to leave, "Do you think that's gonna help? That's just annoying." I mean, it is true. But usually judges just go "Aaw," and look away in discomfort. On the other end of it, he and the other judges put a Broadway-inspired girl through seemingly to piss off Simon, who I believe was right in thinking she wasn’t too special.
I also couldn't believe that the judges put through Erica Rhodes, the former Barney and Friends cast member who dressed up in a dominatrix outfit for her audition. I thought the whole performance was a little desperate, but the judges liked her. No surprise here that her mom seems like something of a stage mother. My palate was cleansed though by Dave Pittman. I was predisposed to dislike him since he has Tourette's; not because he has Tourette's, but because of the inevitable way the show would treat him. Surprise: I liked him a lot as a singer and he had nice presence. I'm not even going to attempt to try to blog a Tourette's joke here but you can have at it.
Things were even quieter on day two when Joe Jonas (virgin alert, ladies!) sat in as a judge. There was a girl who had suffered through pediatric leukemia who had Ryan Seacrest ask her "Is there any better feeling?" after acing her audition (um, living?) Another girl had a little brother type in addition to an unfortunate outfit, so bad that Kara assumed the whole audition was a joke and that Simon said (in a nice way) it showed the girl wasn't trying too hard. She made it through, though—I'd be curious to see if she truly did Break the Rules in Hollywood, as her t-shirt suggested.
I did enjoy Toddrick Hall's audition though, who sang a cute little song he wrote about Idol—those original songs can go so badly so it was nice to see a quasi-clever one. I mean, "clever" for Idol. It's probably sub-Capitol-Steps fare in the real world. Anyway, next week we head to Denver, where something happens, apparently, that we won't believe. Murder most foul?
—Dexter Ward, the winking guy is, stay with me here, the young black gay version of Robert Carlisle in Trainspotting.
—Erica Rhodes did serve to remind me how awesome En Vogue was. I don't regret buying that Funky Divas tape.