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American Idol: 1 of 9 Voted Off

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Maybe to compensate for how crabby I was last night, I felt strangely into tonight's Idol results show, or maybe it was because I was promised David Cook and Lady Gaga. David wasn't my choice for winner last season, I admit, but he's a talented dude and it would be neat to see him back onstage. And Lady Gaga I find a little fascinating in general.

First we viewed the Ford commercial, which was the same as it always is—bad yet captivating. The kids all sang and danced and the screen was split into thirds and their bodies/faces were interchanged. I hope whoever came up with that idea gets an extra buck for creativity in his or her severance package.


Then the kids lip synched to "Don't Stop Believin", another popular download, due, in part, to my Chicago White Sox adopting that as their unofficial theme during their 2005 World Championship season. My dirty secret? That was not enough to make me like the song. Although it's not a bad song for either Kris or Allison to sing, based on what I heard during their pre-recorded solos. By the way, Scott is a hilariously awful lip-syncher. We ended with Adam doing the high note in his usual style, his manicured fist up in the air.

We were treated to a little package about the Idol contestants' lives, which was mildly amusing: I liked Allison talking about how in the photoshoots you can be yourself without being judged, which was a funny Idol/teenager thing to say. I'm starting to find Kris rather dreamy. Scott loves chocolate cake (understandable) and doing the Ford video shoots (incomprehensible). And Matt does an impression of Danny Gokey.

So after that Ryan asked the contestants to do impressions of each other. Why did I get the feeling that Danny hates being made fun of? He did sort of a mean impression of Matt Giraud, and seemed a little irritated by Allison's impression of him. Anoop’s impression of Kris singing was actually pretty funny (and Kris obviously loved it), so Anoop earned back some points with me after an irritating performance last night.

The organization of the contestants before the bottom three were selected was tedious and unnecessary and not worth me describing here. But before anyone was put on the stools, David Cook performed. I accept Cook and think he seems like an OK guy and he's obviously a good singer although something about his bedroom eyes creeps me out. Then Ryan presented David with his album, which has gone platinum. After that we were treated to a preview of his new music video, which seemed only second to the Ford commercial in terms of lack of originality.


Ryan tricked Matt Giraud into thinking he was in the bottom three when he was actually safe—April Fool's!!! But the audience seemed really glad he was safe and I was too. Megan got put into the bottom three, on the way telling Simon (in a nice way) that she didn't care about what he said to her the night before. Then she pretended like she was a cawing bird as she flew to her seat. This is true, this is not me interpreting it.

Allison was also in the bottom three, which was stupid, and Anoop correctly guessed that between he and Scott, he'd be in the bottom three.


Then Lady Gaga performed. She had me at her bubble-filled Lucite piano but I was also thrilled that somebody on this stupid show is willing to pull out a line like "Russian roulette is not the same without a gun/and baby when it’s love if it's not rough it isn't fun." Granted I don't think that's a great lyric but sex and death and S&M don't exist on this show. So she started with an acoustic version of "Poker Face", dressed in a space suit, and then the actual dance version started and a guy pulled off her suit to reveal a dress that looked like something Tatiana del Toro owns. There were crazy dancers, there was fog, there was a zipper on Gaga's eye. The woman put on a freaking SHOW, singing, dancing, voguing, you name it. It was really fun and a little weird and I wish she'd be on every week. The audience seemed absolutely thrilled.

I forgot that there was a show still going on after that. The judges said that there was only one singer who they'd save, and I think obviously that meant Allison, so everything seemed downhill after she was proclaimed safe. Megan was the singer who got the least votes tonight, and Simon, being a total badass, basically said "You said you don't care, and neither do we," telling her that they wouldn't save her, no matter how she sang tonight. It was pretty awesome.


So then Megan sang one last time and her bracelets clanked a lot. She (fake?) cried watching the video retrospective of herself and it's weird to see her a few pounds heavier and with darker hair from the beginning of the season. I felt strangely irritated by her "I'm coming home, baby!" shout-out to her kid, but then again, I have a heart of coal

Grade: B+

Stray observations:

—I feel bad making fun of Scott so last night when he came off so cute and personable during the video of what their lives are like.


—What are these commercials demonstrating to us, via hilarious on-set jokes, FOX's "foolishness"?   Nobody is in the mood for foolishness.

—I am sorry for all these Ford video photos.  I can only upload horizontal photos and it was either this or Stevie Wonder and while I like Stevie a lot this one makes more sense.


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