Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: “1 Of 5 Voted Off”

Illustration for article titled American Idol: “1 Of 5 Voted Off”
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It’s going to be a struggle to review the remainder of American Idol after tonight’s results. The elimination was so confounding that I’m hesitant to say that America got it wrong, because I’m having a hard time believing, especially in light of last year’s winner and tonight’s guest alum, that something weird isn’t going on with the voting this season.

Prior to the results, we get two performances by the “megaband” Coldplay (“Paradise” and “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall”). I have resigned myself to Coldplay’s popularity. I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand why they’re quite as popular as they are (the confetti must have something to do with it), but at the same time, I listen to “Paradise” enough times, and I give in. Slightly. So their performances are Coldplayish: innocuous on TV but apparently awe-inspiring to everyone in the crowd.

In between Coldplay’s two performances, Carrie Underwood sings her new song “Blown Away,” which seems to possess zero country style. It’s not one of Carrie’s better songs or performances: She doesn’t seem to stick the low notes in the verses and is pretty flat in her “ahh” toward the end. The Idol contestants give her lukewarm applause after her performance.

Jimmy Iovine and I were on the same wavelength when it came to the majority of Wednesday night’s performances, excluding the fact that Joshua doesn’t dampen my panties, whereas Jimmy is basically printing out Josh’s Interscope contract already. Jimmy agrees with me that Hollie’s “Bleeding Love” was merely competent, that Phillip has been coasting, and that Skylar could have punched the lyrics better when it came to “Fortunate Son.” Jimmy really hated Jessica’s “Proud Mary,” basically claiming that the costume designers made her look slutty (I do wonder if Jessica’s performance would have been more fun had she not been immobilized by heels and a tight dress.)

I guess with only five contestants left, it shouldn’t be surprising to see anybody in the bottom two, but still, I wouldn’t have expected to see Skylar down there with Hollie. What I expected even less would be that Skylar effing Laine would be going home, but that’s exactly what happens.  She closes out with “Gunpowder And Lead,” bouncing around as she always does, as Jennifer and the remaining contestants cry.

This is where this season has lost me, and not just because the only remaining contestant I remotely care for is gone. Fair or not, I can see how Joshua and Jessica and even Phillip may have gotten more votes than Skylar, but how did more people vote for Hollie than Skylar? How did Scotty McCreery win this show last season, yet the country vote couldn’t sustain Skylar, who is so much better and stronger than he was?


There is simply something strange going on with this season, and not in a fun way. Now this season is doomed to have a winner who either has an annoying style of singing or is boring and bland. Or both! What a wonderful few weeks we have in front of us.

Stray observations:

  • How does Phillip get away without shooting the Ford music video every week? If he wins (and he probably will), he doesn’t deserve that free car.