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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: 1 of 10 Voted Off

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My first evil thought of the night was, "Are Scott and Stevie Wonder going to have a powwow over what it's like to be a blind musician?" I feel like a jerk for thinking it but admit it—you wouldn't be totally surprised if it happened.

Anyway, it was an uneventful results show with uneventful results. We had our usual flashback (and Anoop's performance looked rather ridiculous by the cold light of Thursday) and then our group number, which has been pretty much confirmed as being lipsynched, so I don't know what the point is, anymore. Better than nothing, I guess. Or is it?


The Ford music video was to the tune "Pocket Full of Sunshine" and involved the singers putting a photomural together and then driving off into it. Yep.

Ruben Studdard performed and went from 0-60 in 60 seconds in terms of sweating. He sounded good (on a generic song) and looked the same yet every time the camera cut to him he was sweating more and more. Morbid obesity and bright stage lights aren't a winning combination after all.

No surprise that Michael Sarver was in the bottom three, but nobody would have thought Matt Giraud would be down there too, and the audience howled accordingly.

Joss Stone and Smokey Robinson performed together, which elicited nothing from me. I love Smokey's music but for some reason he scares me a bit nowadays, and I'm neutral on Joss Stone, so they sounded nice together but the song wasn't anything special either.


I noticed that before the break Ryan said that somebody "on this bottom tier" was going home and I assumed that was a secret message to me, since I had made a comment earlier about Scott's seating the day he gets eliminated. And, what do you know, Scott was in the bottom three: substitute Megan for Matt and I would have felt totally happy with the world.

Again, I think Scott seems like a really nice guy but I was glad that he was in the bottom three, because he's really not nearly as good as some of the other singers on here and so I was happy that America felt the same way. Then, of course, we found out he was safe but just his appearance in the bottom three was good for me.


So then it came down to Matt and Michael but first, Stevie Wonder performed! He opened with "My Cherie Amour" which is one of my favorite songs but I feared he didn't sound that great in it, but he sounded better and better with each song: "Superstitious," "Overjoyed," and "All About the Love Again." It was pretty great and the contestants, especially Danny and Anoop, seemed into it. Stevie also gave an obligatory shout out to our president.

So Michael sang for his life, and the judges pretended that they were still deliberating after his performance but give me a break—even if he sang way better than last night he still wasn't going to be worth their save. So Simon was the heavy and told him "Michael: you’re going home. Sorry." Back to the ol'field with you, roughneck.


Grade: B

Stray observations:

—Simon was kind of funny/weird tonight. After Ryan told him that he and Paula should have gotten a room last night, Simon said "we did." And I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever heard him say "'ello, mate!"


—If you watched the commercials you may have seen reason #485 why I'm sick of "Let's Get it On": the Reese's Easter candy commercial.

—However, that commercial did not sour me on peanut butter chocolate Easter candy.


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