Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Alternate TV Show Taglines

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Summer may be slumping to its inevitable end, but the many, many superfluous ads reminding you to watch TV will never go away. Here's a quick rundown of some TV ads, complete with alternate eye-catching taglines.

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A&E's sub-Intervention addiction drama The Cleaner

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Actual Tagline: "I'll do whatever it takes to get you clean."

Alternate Tagline: "His name is Ben. Mr. Cleaner if you're nasty."

Alternate Tagline 2: "Sometimes getting clean takes more than soap. It also takes a pro soaper."

VH1's latest dating show featuring only the finest stars from the VH1 celebreality trough: My Antonio

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Actual Tagline: "One sexy bachelor. 13 single women. A determined ex-wife. And…his mother?"

Alternate Tagline: "One nobody. A horse. A beach. The ghost of Fabio. And…his mother?"

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Alternate Tagline 2: "Don't worry: No one on this show will get the literary reference VH1 is nonsensically making in the title. Guaranteed."

Lifetime's Project Runway

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Actual Tagline: "They've arrived!"

Alternate Tagline: "In fashion, you're either in or you're on Lifetime."

Alternate Tagline 2: "Hallo! Remember your fashion friends? We are on the channel with The Co-Ed Call Girl movie now! It is so red here!"

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A&E's abracadabrexplosion The Five Lives Of Chris Angel Mindfreak

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Actual Tagline: "Five ways to live. Five ways to die."

Alternate Tagline: "Five lives. Five coffins from Hot Topic."

Alternate Tagline 2: "Criss Angel opened that coffin without touching it. Consider your mind freaked."

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The CW's unfortunate Melrose Place re-boot:

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Actual Tagline: "Menage a Tues"

Alternate Tagline: "Voulez vous coucher avec l'Ashlee Simpson et Papasan. Porquoi non?"

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Alternate Tagline 2: "Annoying Innuendo Tuesdays."

E!'s continuing reign of Kardashian-related terror, Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami:

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Actual Tagline: "They're Sisters. Not Saints.

Alternate Tagline: "Klassy."

Alternate Tagline 2: "Meet The Koast Kguard."

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