Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Absorbent and porous and now in 3-D, it’s the trailer for a new SpongeBob Movie

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water promises a brave new world for the denizens of Bikini Bottom, one where SpongeBob SquarePants’ hometown turns into a Mad Max-like hellscape in the blink of an eye. Also: This world has a flagrant disregard for the previously established notion that SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward turn into stick puppets when they’re on dry land. Clearly, Sponge Out Of Water is a pricier affair than that cheap-o gag, with Smurfs-like 3-D animation for a Smurfs-like plot and enough of a pirate budget that star Tom Kenny doesn’t have to pull eyepatched double duty. Instead, Antonio Banderas handles the lootin’ and pillagin’ for this big-screen sequel to 2004’s The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, pulling Nickelodeon’s cartoon bottom-dwellers to the surface in order to face off over a stolen recipe. The trailer below doesn’t give a precise release date, so you have an indeterminate amount of time to wash the image of SpongeBob’s distressingly shapely, 3-D ass cheeks out of your eyes. You can even do so with a standard yellow sponge, secure in the knowledge that SpongeBob doesn’t look like that in our world anymore.

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