Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, September 17. All times are Eastern.
Red Band Society (Fox, 9 p.m) / The Mysteries of Laura (NBC, 10 p.m.): The fall season continues with the series premieres of Red Band Society and The Mysteries of Laura. Red Band Society is a show all about red band movie trailers that, for some reason, involves a hospital and Octavia Spencer sassing sick children. The Mysteries Of Laura is a show that is also known as NBC Presents… I Don’t Know How She Does It: The Series. As you can see from Caroline Framke’s less than glowing pre-air review of the pilot, how she does it may be unorthodox…but she gets results.
There’s no Sophie’s choice to really be made because both shows are on at different times, but you don’t want to go to school tomorrow and talk about how you liked both Red Band Society and The Mysteries of Laura, do you? That’s like saying that you liked Will and Grace the same amount as Jack and Karen. It’s exactly like that.
Extant (CBS, 10 p.m.): Extant? More like extinct! We’ve been saving that one for what feels like a long time, but now it’s here. (It’s not like we didn’t warn you we’d go for that easy joke.) So ends the first season of Extant, and it’s still unknown if it will be a one and done like Hostages (remember Hostages, you guys?) or if it will live to see another day like Under The Dome (imagine: Hostages: Under The Dome). Either way, CBS can never take away the fact that Extant gave Halle Berry a robot son in one hand and alien spawn in the other.
Girlfriend Intervention (Lifetime, 10 p.m.): If you have not been watching Girlfriend Intervention, then consider yourself lucky that you’ve remained untainted by that weekly hour of racist stereotypes and terrible puns based on said racist stereotypes. Pilot Viruet already said everything that needs to be said about the series over at Flavorwire, but if reading that doesn’t convince you, go ahead and watch. We’ll meet you on the other side.
The Bridge (FX, 10 p.m.)
The League (FXX, 10 p.m.)
With the news of Luke Perry being cast on CSI: Cyber, you might be wondering to yourself, “Why is CSI: Cyber even a thing?” Apparently, there is quite the market for the CSI franchise—go figure—and Phil Dyess-Nugent is here with an all-new TV Club 10 all about what makes the CSI format so successful. You’re welcome, hypthothetical questioner.
Big Brother (CBS, 8 p.m.): This season of Big Brother is never going to end, because in a world where you can’t trust anyone, watching a show called Big Brother is the only way to go on living. As Big Brother goes, so goes our reason for being.
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8 p.m.): Just like determining whether or not you think you can dance, it takes two final hours (and apparently nine seasons) to declare that America has got talent. The day such things are determined in 10 seconds—simply by saying the winner’s name and moving on—is the day America will truly got talent.
The Roosevelts: An Intimate History: The Storm (1920-1933) (PBS, 8 p.m.): If you’re more into learning things when it comes to your television-viewing habits, then why not watch part four of Ken Burns’ Roosevelts documentary on PBS? (Nerd.)
Tyler Perry’s For Better Or Worse (OWN, 9 p.m.): It’s the third season of one of Tyler Perry’s 3 million shows on the air, and it hopes to be proof positive that there’s no better way to start off a season than by titling its premiere “Too Much Sex.” Some might argue that there is no such thing as too much sex, but they’re not the ones who have three million shows on the air, now are they? No. Tyler Perry is.
Top Chef: Duels (Bravo, 10 p.m.): As if to say, “Haha, fall TV is never truly starting!” the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine makes an appearance on this week’s Top Chef: Duels. If that sounds like an idea for an amazing terrible Brooklyn Nine-Nine fan fiction, then you should definitely get to work on that. The world needs to experience such glory.
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (ABC Family, 4:30 p.m.): It’s not Christmas time yet, but any time is the right time to call out the McCallisters for losing track of their son yet again. They really were a terrible movie family.
Veronica Mars (HBO2, 7:40 p.m.): Why not a nice Veronica Mars movie? Murder and blackmail plots are the stuff of family dinners, after all.
MLB Baseball: Nationals at Braves (ESPN, 7 p.m.): There is so much baseball tonight—how can you even decide? Do you choose the Atlanta option?
MLB Baseball: Marlins at Mets (FSN, 7 p.m.): Or do you choose the New York option? How do you choose sports?
The Mindy Project: Declaring to the “haters” that Mindy and Danny are a couple now, The Mindy Project returned for its third season last night. Gwen Ihnat praised the episode for the way it allowed a relationship between its leads to actually help the series, instead of hurting it—a rarity when it comes to a will-they/won’t-they relationship coming to fruition. Take that, haters!